Skywalker and A Mission

Okay. I want to explain this before it gets into general circulation and people *eyes Wedge* start making up wild stories.

It started on a standard recon mission to the planet Bintenvell. It is a planet known for the massive commerce center know as Wahl Mearts. Jedi Knight Skywalker was leading our group when we spotted one of the large centers we had come to investigate.

“Earl, come here!” Skywalker yelled me. I hate when he calls me Earl. I have a designation you know.

“I got some important recon I need you to do. You need to enter the Wahl Meart, go to the area that has information stored on disk, find the disk with this name on it …” Skywalker hand me a piece of paper “… get a copy any way you can, bring it back to me and don’t tell anyone about this.”

“Why are we doing this sir?” I ask

“Hey Earl, don’t ask any questions. Just do your job. Oh and here’s 25 credits in case you have to bribe some one.”

I make my way into the center. Strangely no one even looks twice at me in my armor. The place is a hodge-podge of every species in the galaxy.

I find the area Skywalker spoke of, I slyly look thought the information disk and find the one Skywalker mentioned.

Some kind of security personal in a blue vest approached me and asked “What are you doing. If you want that you need to give me some money.”

Ah, the bribe Skywalker had mentioned now come into play. I smoothly ask “So would 25 credits cover this?”

“Yeah, but come over here with me.” The security person takes me over to some kind of com station, take the disk from me, wave it around and say "17.99 cr.”

I quickly give him the credits and head back to Skywalker, who was very pleased.

Somehow I must have been spotted on the security monitors, because this picture made it way back to me.



I just wanted to explain what happened.

Planning To Bomb Oursleves ...

Continued from here

Jardina looks at me while making her decision. “Yes, Tak that would be helpful. It might take a while by myself. Let’s see if we can get you back to base by evening Mess”

I roll my eyes, “Of course Lt. Cmdr. Who would want to miss out on Crud on Toast? Let’s get to it.”

We head over to the small bank of listening equipment; I start to take apart several pieces that Jardina won’t be using. I make some noise and the occasional cures in Mando, just to make it sound right.

Jardina mover to her com station and begins to slice a path to the building. She moves thought the system so fast, I can barley follow what she is doing. It looks like she is slicing into an off-world relay. In short order I see the building specs come up on the screen. She looks over her shoulder at me, while pointing to a power cuplink two floors down. I point to one a floor above and one apartment away. It is the residents of the Berchest ambassador. She had made a speech attacking the Banking Clan recently and would be a believable target.

Jardena set up a power feed loop that will go undetected for an hour or so, and then blow up. She used a Separatist signal signature we picked up on our last mission. It is old enough that security should be able to pick it up, but new enough not to look like a plant.

Within 15 minutes she is finished. It is always great to watch her work. I know she wouldn’t admit it, but she loves this part of her job. Getting around the best security system in the Republic gives it own special rush. I am glad we are on the same side, because she would be a formidable asset to the separatist.

We “worked” in relative silence for the next hour, making small talk about G.A.R equipment failures, regulations that annoy the rank and file and when we think this current conflict will end.

Then there is a muffled boom from out in the hall. The power in the apartment goes out, my comlink goes dead and we both jump into action. With in 2 minutes I have collected all the all the listening devises placed around the room and Jardina has scooped up all the clothing in her room that was bugged. While in her bed room she quickly pulls off the shirt she is wearing and grabs another. I look away, but not before seeing a glimpse of her back and shoulders as her hair flips up slightly.

Jardina shot out of the room and tosses me the bag of clothing. “Get these back to my office, scan them and see if you can figure out who made them. I’ll take the others devises and work on them. I’ll contact you as soon as I find something out. I may need you help again, you up for it, Tak.”

I hand her 5 of the devises we pulled from the walls, “Of course Lt. Cmdr. If I need to, I’ll try to contact you through secure channel.” I want to give her a hug to let her know everything will be ok, but I can’t.

I head out into the confusion of the hallway. Senator, diplomats and the elites of Coruscant’s society are milling about, looking dazed. I don’t know why, but I want to grab them by the neck and watch their life drain away.

Read Lt. Cmdr. Oneida’s view.

LGS: Cleaning Up

It looks like I have the chance to clean up this week on Last Gladiator Standing. Click here to see what happened.

Don't Kill All The Bugs ...

Continued from here

As I scan the closet, many of the articles of clothing have listening devises. Some have been woven into the cloth. Who ever did this had too much time on their hand. This is overkill.

Jardina come over, looking furious. As she moves to deactivate the devises I give her a negative signal.

“What kind of animals are these, Lt. Cmdr.?” I inquire “I don’t think I have seen anything like them before.”

Jardina glares at me and gives me a WTF look.

“Oh these are Voorpaks. Pets from the south of Naboo. A friend got them for me to remind me of home.” She makes a breaking motion with her hand as she looks towards the closet.

“Oh Pets” I reply “I have never had a pet, no time. What did you name these Voorpaks?” as I finish I lean in extremely close to Jardina’s ear. Surprisingly she does not get irritated with my invasion of her personal space. She must be pissed.

I whisper in the quietest of voices “if we deactivate them like this, whoever placed the bugs will know that you found them. We must create a distraction.”

Her voice is calm, but her eyes shine with fury, “I named one Edee and the other Bodooka. I sure you know the Mando translation for Edee, but Bodooka means ‘energy ball’ in Gunan. …”

I continue to whisper “If we can create a EMP pulse on the five surrounding floors, it would fry the devises. You main equipment should be safe due to its shielding …” the smell of her skin washes over me. I fight the feelings I am having.

“The names match their personalities …*whispers* how …and I like having the reminder of home here.” Jardina continues

*still whispering* “slice into the buildings computer, overload the power converters on floor above this, mask the slice with a Separatist signature …” I feel the heat coming off her. The warmth touches the side of my face. “These etyc aru’e * won’t know they have been found out and building security will be increased” I draw my head back. I hadn’t been that close to here since we sparred.

“It is always nice to have reminders of home, Lt. Cmdr.” I say. My brain is swimming. I work to quiet the turmoil in my head and hope Jardina puts it down to nervousness over the devises we have found. Her temper is high right now and I hope she may have not noticed anything out of the ordinary.

“Lt. Cmdr. Did you want me to help install the replacement parts?” I ask


*Mando: wicked cowards

Read from the Lt. Cmdr’s view

LGS: The Last Gladiator Standing Week in Review

Head over to the Last Gladiator Standing reality show to hear about AOC secret admirer and possible date.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Also if you haven’t done so you can see how the last challenge went.

Questions, Concerns and a Call

Continued from here


How did I know his thoughts would turn to Cmdr. Andros.

"The Lt. Cmdr works with lot of Naval Officer I don't know. I am not sure if I have met a Cmdr. Andros before. But as to her temper about the job, Lt. Cmdr. Oneida has mentioned missing Naboo. The Naval bureaucracy has a different style than the Naboo Security Forces and I think that is vexing at times. I think overall the Lt. Cmdr. enjoys her job, more so when the job is off Coruscant."

I have many questions I want to ask, but hold my thoughts to myself.

"She prefers when she's *not* on Coruscant?" he asks. He frowns, then adds, "Listen, Tak, I'm sure you know that Jardena is my girlfriend. Without getting too specific, some weird things have happened recently and I'm concerned. Have you noticed anyone she works with or anyone she knows... hanging around her excessively, or crossing the line in some way? You see, someone is stalking her indirectly. I'd do anything to protect her, so if you've seen anything, or you know anything, I'd like to know."

Moteé is shooting better. Not great, but much better. I run through some more techniques she that will help. She seems a little apprehensive with me, but I am used this happening. Clones tend to cause some unease with the public.

As I walk back to Captain Typho, my com link beeps… It's a message from Lt. Cmdr Oneida. I put the message on Audio only and have it piped to my helmet… My face remains placid as I listen to the message.

"Captain Typho," I begin, "I have been called away for the rest of the afternoon. I will have another range master take over right away. If Moteé needs any further assistance this week, I will be willing to work with her."

The Captain looks quizzically at me.

I lower my voice. "As for your other issue, I have not noticed anyone on base acting out of line. If I have any concerns or see anything out of the ordinary I will contact you."

I bring my voice back to it normal level. "Good luck on the bet with the Corellians."

I head back to base to change out of my armor.


See Captain Tyhpo’s view here

The story continued here for TK 266 and here for Lt.Cmdr Oneida

Typho, Bad Breathing & Some Questions

Continued from here

"Not a problem, Captain. I'll have them changed in a few minutes." I contact the range center and request the target change. I ask for a mix of Battle Droids and Droideka. This should be something little more familiar for the Naboo.

"Captain, did you want me to work with Wrora and Moteé to help bring them up to spec or take the other troops to the firing range?" I asked as the targets began to become droids.

Captain Typho looks at me for a moment. "I'll work with you to help them," he says. "I assume you have some subordinate that can go on with the others to the qualifying range? If so, you and I can stay here and focus on these two. Lt. Dysar will take charge of my team over there."

"I would prefer to work you to help Wrora and Moteé, Captain." I contacted the range center. "This is TK 266. Send EK 1994 down to range six. Have him contact Lt. Dysar of the Naboo security force and assist with range duty. TK 266 out. I am at your disposal Captain.

We start from scratch with Wrora and Moteé, emphasizing posture for Wrora and breathing for Moteé. Once again we send them to the line to try to get past the calibration stage of today's task.

"So, you work with Lt. Cmdr. Oneida?" he asks. "How long have you served with her? Since she was stationed here on Coruscant, or further back?"

I look at Moteé's shooting. "Captain, no offence, but Moteé breaths like a Gundark in heat. I think we are going to have to work a lot more with her."

I see Captain Typho's eyebrow rise ever so slightly. I guess he won't be thrown off so easily. I have to remember to work more on my small talk skills.

The Captain says nothing as we watch Moteé. His eye looks towards me again.

"I met Lt. Cmdr. Oneida five months after the Battle of Geonosis," I say. "I don't know how long she had been on Coruscant. All I knew was she was given a high security clearance and the power to pick the troopers she wanted. I can't talk about our missions, but I have served as an escort for her on and off for the last 13 months."

I hope that is enough to satisfy his curiosity. I call to Moteé to stop shooting and run through some more breathing exercises, focusing on pulling the trigger on the held breath or the exhale, at the very least.

"Moteé is one of our newer handmaidens, so she was chosen first because of her looks, second because of her fighting skills," he says. "A more experienced handmaiden was recently let go."

He pauses, and then says, "So, you've worked with Lt. Cmdr. Oneida for over a year. That's a long time. I realize that you can't talk specifically about your missions, of course, but does she work with Cmdr. Andros often? In general... does she seem to enjoy her work?"


To be continues

Read Captain Typho’s view here

Range Duty with the Naboo

Earlier in the day before the Lt. Cmdr’s call.

I have been assigned range duty for the week. I will be training non-clones in the use of several weapons of the G.A.R. As I review the week's rooster I notice that the Naboo Security office will be sending over a contingent, including the head of Security Captain Typho.

Well, this should make for an interesting morning.

I had requested a supply officer show up early so I could look over the weapons and to work with me on prepping the range. I was a little surprised when the Captain showed up.

"TK 266, Sir. I'll be your range master today," I snapped "I was expecting your supply officer, though."

"I was up and decided she could use a sleep in," the captain smiled. He looked tired and a little distracted. "Well, let's get started then."

I inform Captain Typho that there is a dispenser with Naboo caf for him and his personnel. He perks up and heads over the get a mug.

After finishing his caf Captain Typho tells me about a small wager he has with the Corellians. I smile and say we would make sure his men would get any extra help they wanted. The Corellians annoy me, though I am not supposed to think that.

"Do you have another name, TK 266? I think a friend of mine mentioned you're called TAK. Would you mind if I use that name?" the captain asked little uneasily.

Just as uneasily I told him it would be okay.

For the next two hours we spend the time making sure there is enough ammo breaking down each weapon twice, cleaning them, checking the sights and accuracy and making sure all safety measures are in place.

Captain Typho asked me not to change the sight setting. I was a little confused at first because each weapon was a little different. He looked at me sternly and told me his soldiers were not "built to spec," while tapping his eye patch.

That actually got a small laugh from me. He seems like a solider I could get to like. Very different from the person I watched on *Big Brother: Naboo.* He does seem a little distracted though.

The rest of the Naboo show up on time, much different from the Corellians.
An excellent way to start the program in my book.

I begin the instruction. "Today you will be learning to use the DC-15A Blaster Rifle and the DC-15S Blaster Carbine. While these weapons do not have the grace or style of the standard Naboo weapon, you will see they have greater fire power and much better stopping power. Some of you have Special Forces training and will work with the DC-17m. The DC-17m is a versatile weapon that can be used as a standard blaster, sniper rifle, or an anti-armor weapon..."

I continue the rest of the lesson on auto-pilot, observing Captain Typho whose mind seems somewhere else.

After the lecture, the groups learns how to field strip the weapons and by the mid morning they are on the firing range. Two of the Nabooan are having trouble on the sighting range.

Captain Typho comes up to me during the firing range exercise. "I've got a few team members who need some extra help," He started "I'd like to change the targets."

"Could we replace that outline with one of a battle droid? They might be more comfortable with this. We do things a little differently on Naboo."


To be continues

Read Captain Typho’s view here

The Lt. Cmdr. Calls An Exterminator

I am on the Range with the Naboo Security Force when my come link goes off, informing me of an incoming message. I check the message. It is from the Lt. Cmdr

"TK266, this is Lt. Cmdr Oneida, I need you to find a EO1988 as well as a JS22 replacement part for the local command post. I only need one right now. Thanks. Let me know when you can do that."

Something is up. The Lt. Cmdr usually goes out of her way to call me Tak. By asking for the E01988 and JS22 parts, I knew something big was up.

I excuse my self from the Naboo Security Chief, Captain Typho and make my way to the Lt. Cmdr’s office.

The Day Watch officer inquires what I am doing, since I have range duty. I show him the message and he let me by with a mutter comment about “pampered Navy staff”.

Once in the office I find the two small pieces of equipment the Lt. Cmdr requested. Both are used for ultra-sensitive listening devises. The items are not usually removed from base with out formal authorization. I hide the items in my boots and grab a E01988 and JS22 replacement parts.

I call the Lt. Cmdr from the com station in her office and leave a message.

“Lt. Cmdr Oneida, I have retrieved the E01998 and the JS22 parts you requested. I will sign out with the duty officer and deliver the parts within the hour. TK266 out.”

I see the duty office and head out in to the city. I am nervous, but not because I am carrying contraband. I want to know why the Lt. Cmdr needs these items.

I nodded to the Lt. Cmdr. put the replacement parts on the table. I pulled the two bug sweepers out of my boots and tossed one to the Lt. Cmdr.

“How was your morning Lt. Cmdr?” I said in a neutral voice. I began scanning the room. You would not believe the morning I had. No offence, but some of your fellow Nabooan just don’t know their weapons. One guy kept calling the DS-15A the DS 15-D. I me come on they are as different as night and day” I give a little laugh

I continue to scan, while trying to read Oneida’s reaction. She is focused on the scanning, but gives me a hand signal to continue.

“Captain Cordilia got me confused with E775, again. And you know how funny He and I think that is. Captain Cordila has worked with us for 7 months now and still can’t tell us apart.”

As I continue my sweep, I pass the bedroom. I try not to pause, but I do notice that there is bedding in the closet. Damm, Jardina must really be spooked.

Jardina listened to me prattle on about inanities of recent base life, as we continued to scan the room. She says something about confused officer and Sullustans.

I chuckled lightly at her comment. She put down her scanner and wrote a note and held it up. Her frustration was high as I read the note:

‘I know there is something in here, I just don't know what. Doesn't appear on normal scanners. Gran? Tethian? New Tech possibly?

And why the *%@#!!! is it in my apartment?'

In a calms voice she asks me if I would like a drink.

My scanner detected something. It was a listen devise, no visual. I motioned to Jardina: two fingers to my eye and a negative head shake a tap to my ear with a positive nod. Then another appeared and another. As I made my way closer to her room several more pop up on the scanner. This was a lot more than I expected to find. I held up five fingers.

“Yes, Lt. Cmdr. I would appreciate a drink. I’ll just have water, though.”

I pinpoint the first devise, a wafer thing painted into the wall. Well that was cleverer then what I would have done.

As I took the glass of water from Jardina, the sensor lights up again.

“I had range duty today, Lt. Cmdr. I helped the Naboo security force become accustomed to G.A.R. weaponry. We are working with many of the senate security forces to bring them up to speed. I meet Captain Typho, your friend from Big Brother:Naboo. He is an excellent solider.”

I show the scanner to Jardina and point to her military ID. I continue to scan her clothing.

I point to the bedroom closet and make my way into the room. The voorpaks scamper away as I cross the room. Jardina stands at the door, looking angrier by the minute.


Read from Lt. Cmdr. Oneida’s view here.

To Be Continued

Rebel Scum Think They Are So Cool.

We hear a lot about how great the rebal alliance flyers are at kicking the Empire hinney. This is how they want you to think of them.



Or like this



But put them in a slightly diffrent sistuation and who knows what can go wrong.



Is that Wedge?

LGS: Mirror, Mirror

A mirror universe. What an interesting conundrum this will pose.What will a opposite version of me be like?

I have always thought of we clones as neutral; following order, never thinking of the cause or consequences of our action. All those decisions are made by other and we just march to the beat we are given.


Click here to find out the rest of the story.

Corellian Special Forces vs. G.A.R. Trooper

I had been assigned to travel with two Corellians Special forces personel on a shuttle back to their ship.

Being that it was going to be a long flight, the Corellians took off their boots and stretched out. I was invited to do the same.

Just after take-off, one of the Corellinans said, "I think I'll get up and get a Jawa-Juice."

"No problem," I offered, trying to get on their good side, "I'll get it for you." While I was gone, the Corellian picked up my boot and spit in it.

When I returned with the Jawa-Juice, the other Corellian said, "That looks good, I think I'll have one too."

Again, I obligingly went to fetch it and while I was gone, the second Corellian picked up the other boot and spit in it.

I returned and we all sat back and enjoyed the rest of the flight.

As the shuttle was landing, I slipped my feet into my boots and knew immediately what had happened. The Corellians began to chuckle.

"How long must this go on?" I asked. "This fighting between our groups? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in boots and peeing in Jawa-Juice?"

When a Captain Holo at You.

I am working the night shift on guard duty. Much of the garrison is off on maneuvers, so the base is quite. As my duties take me by the communication center, my com link beeps.

The image of a Republic Navel Officer appears on the Holo. It is Captain Susan Lern.

“I am soooo bored here to night. I wish I could see you. The base is almost deserted and I keep thinking of all the things I would love to do to you. If you were here right now I would push you back on my desk …”

In the Holo she is twirling her hair and smiling devilishly. I begin to feel warm.

“… then I would take off your boots ….”

Oh man, is there something wrong with the air coolant system in here.

“… I’d pour chocolate syrup all over your ….”

OK, this is too much. I head over to Captain Lern’s office and knock on the door.

“Enter” a brisk businesslike voice calls.

As I enter the office I the Captain smiles at me and asks “What can I do for you, Trooper.”



I begin to play her Holo message without sound.

“First Captain, I would like to thank you for the best message I have received on duty, ever!”

She looks a little confused.

“And second, you really need to learn the diffrence between the SEND and the SEND ALL button.”

A Trip to the Museum

On a recent day off, I was touring the Coruscant Museum and came across a strange display. It looked like a Hyper-Spanner that had been destroyed. Intrigued, I read the card.

“The C.S.S Titanica was the largest luxury ship of it day. It was a mighty cruise ship, set to sail the inky blackness of space.



The first voyage of the immense vessel was almost 1,000 years ago. Thousands of people on board - mostly the rich and famous, and of course, a large crew to cater for their every need.

As the ship set off, no-one realized that her fate was just around the corner.

She flew around the galaxy, visiting several resort planets, before heading towards her last solar system. As she arrived, everyone found themselves looking in horror as the star exploded in front of their eyes - a supernova.

Of course, everyone was killed, and although search parties spent several years looking, nothing was ever found of the great ship, except for a single twisted, half-molten chunk of metal that had come from the toolkit of one of the ship's engineers.

This tool is the only remains of the once mighty ship.”



I just stood there in awe of the “Star-Mangled Spanner”.

And you thought it could not get any worse.

LGS: Tak gets a strange phone call

After my disastrous night out on the town with The Henchman, I am nursing a Death Star sized hangover.

…

Go here to find out more!

Know When To Fold Them...

The famous Hutt singer, Kin Knee Rogers and his entourage are aboard their tour vehicle on their way to a concert in Mos Eisley, when they get a flat tire.



The mechanic jumps off the bus to fix the flat, but because they're already behind schedule and in a hurry, he neglects to double check that the lug nuts are properly tightened down.

Shortly thereafter, as the vehicle goes around a curve on a twisty mountain in the Dune Sea, the entire wheel comes off. The bus veers off the road, and plunges down the side of the mountain.

Everybody on board is killed, except for a young "roadie", who is also a Rodian. He happened to be lying in his bunk, and was somewhat shielded from the crash by his mattress.

The Rodian is lying in his hospital bed being interviewed by Imperial Troopers, and one asks him if Kin Knee Rogers had said any last words?

"Yes," said the young Rodian, "he did." As the bus went over the edge I could hear Mr. Rogers singing......







"You picked a fine time to leave me, loose wheel!!!"


Jon: The puns will continue until you agree to be in the squeal of "JoJo the Monkeyboy: The Movie"

History Lesson With a Moral.

Being raised on Kamino, we were given many history lessons from all over the Galaxy. I was never sure how most of them would help us be warriors. Here is one such tale that took place on Alderaan many millenniums ago

Once, long ago, an Alderannian king summoned all his provincial rulers to his palace. He was in a rather belligerent mood, and wanted to scare them into giving him extra taxes.



Unknown to him, the nobles, mostly Dukes and Counts met in secret on the way, and decided that they should agree to pay the extra, but they would at first pretend to refuse, so they could try to bargain down the actual amount extra they would have to pay.

They arrived at the king's castle, and gathered in the audience chamber. The king made his demands, and as agreed, they started to refuse.

Unfortunately, they hadn't realized just how belligerent the king's mood was: as soon as they started to refuse, he got angry, and ordered his guards to kill them on the spot.



More than half of them were slain before they even realized what was happening, and the others had to do some very quick groveling to survive.

After everything had settled down, those who remained explained to the king their plan, and the king was filled with remorse for his hasty actions.

The moral of the story?




Don't hatchet your counts before they chicken!

LGS: Tour Guide to the Slobs

Check out my adventure as a tour guide over at Last Gladiator Standing.

Here