Friday, June 30, 2006

A Trip To A Bookstore

Lord Vader made me come with him to the bookstore. He was acting all strange after we gave him a report about some cocky fighter pilot who was bragging about blowing up the Death Star.

When he was not looking I snapped this photo of him on my com link camera.

vader baby book

What can it mean?

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

OOC post - My summer ride

Ok. I gave in and took one of the "what are you test" and this is what it said.

Your Summer Ride is a Jeep
For you, summer is all about having no responsibilities.You prefer to hang with old friends - and make some new ones.

This was funny and great because it is my summer ride. Only diffrence, my Wranger is green. Just took the top off this week.

OK, I'll go back to AOC now. :)

Monday, June 26, 2006

Problems with Copies of Copies of Copies

Wedge is always going on about why the Imperial Forces were finally overcome by a rag-tag group of rebels. He thinks it because the rebel scum had more heart, but that is just BS. We’ve got heart. I know ... I have seem them blown out of several troopers.

I say it was because Vader wimped out and got all “I’m Your Daddy” and junk. But I also think that there were some problems in making of later clones.

Take a look at this lot make late in the Empire period. No consistency in looks, height, and grooming.

stromtroopers dinner

I think lord Vader is just a little disappointed in this lot. Or he is thinking about cutting in line for coffee.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Crowd Control

Trooper, come here!” the Republic officer calls to me.

Yes sir, what do you need?” I reply

How much crowd control training have you received?” he asked.

Standard training, Sir. My unit has been trained in riot control, how to deal with unruly crowds on hostile worlds, general policing and non-violent mob disbursement techniques

Good, Good. Gather two other troopers and report to this location immediately. This is a very important assignment involving keeping an unruly group in line for the next few hours.”

I gather the other troopers and we make our way to the location. It is worse then we could have ever imagined. For the next four hour we are constantly keeping order in lines, calming frayed nerves, stopping the group from entering unauthorized areas and answering the hundreds and hundreds of question they kept pelting us with.

I have never been so exhausted after a mission.

We got a photo at the end of the day.

trooper bring kids to work day

Guess which one was the officer’s kid.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

A Visit to an Office

Continued from here

I cling to the side of the building as the wind whips past me, almost pushing me over the edge. I used a maintenance droid the make it to this narrow ledge. I regain my footing and calm my breathing.

Using a disruptive energy beam devise I bypass the window security measures. I then refocus the beam to push the particles in the glass apart enough to step into the room. I move slowly into the room allowing my scanner to locate and identify any security devises in the room. I am wearing a skin tight environ-suit that matches my temperature to the room, as not to set off the known heat sensor.

The scanner reports a motion sensor. It is set to record anything moving faster then 2 cm per second. That will take me 7 minutes to reach the com station. Once there I can override the security system and put it on a loop, just as I have been taught by the Lt. Cmdr.

I sigh.

This is not what I should be doing. I am a solider, not a spy. Heck, I’m not even supposed to know how to slice this good. I am bothered that Captain Bray chose me for this assignment. But if this is what it takes to expose the Malstereian so be it. Plus what’s that old saying “It's an ill wind that doesn't blow some good.” I may not have to deal with Senator Ask Aak if the right people find out and who know what other benefits may come my way.

After what seems like the longest 8 minutes of my life, I make it too the com station. Using a copied ID, I “readjust” the room security settings. I write a quick sub-routine that will reset the system and erase any trace of my intrusion in the system.

I am not worried about the security officer who works out of this office coming into the building. Everything is going according to plan. He and his “date” should be finishing dinner. After that a little show and then the “date” will show him a good time. With the slightest amount of luck he will never know I was here.

Once in the security system I find the files I am looking for pretty quick. I have accesses the system remotely once before, but was only able to look at the top files. I scroll through the list of files: Mygeeto - nope, Mylok - no, Myomar - don’t care yet, Myrkr - no, Mytus - no , Naboo – here we are.

I scan the files. I read a basic background on Captain Dante Typho, formally of the Naboo home security forces, yada yada yada, now head of Senatorial security … Ah here it is: After the subject recent stint on Big Brother Naboo we have indications that the subject is in a dating and/or intimate relationship with Lt. Commander Jardena Ranne Oneida, also a former security officer (see file N: 329457) The subject has shown some signs of jealousy on several occasions. The subject and N:329457 have had a relationship in the past. Cause of separation undetermined. It is felt by command the subject may be a security risk. Continue to watch.

The rest of the file detailing survalance is closed to the security code I have. I contiplate tring to slice into the file, but the Lt. Cmdr’s words come back to me: “Never swim deeper that you can hold your breath.”

I change the file slightly. Then close it. Next I run a com-link trace to a termnial at the Jedi Termple. I then cover up the link with a Malstereian method, but leave a faint trace to this center. I do the same again, but this time to a com-station in the Nabooian security office, again leaving the faintest of trace back to this terminal. The bounce around I do to the signal should take at least a week to trace, if the person knows what they are doing.

I begin to run my sub-routine, clear any trace from the com-station, make my way back to the window, step outside and breathe freely for a moment. I use the maintenance droid to get me back to ground level, send a quick minute wiping it memory for the last hour.

I make my way back to base and wait to see the consequences of my actions.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

LGS: No Laughing Matter

My latest challenge on Last Gladiator Standing.

How to make Fluke laugh? I had to discern what I know of the man and play up his humor weakness.

Due to his short attention span, I knew the jokes had to be simple. Can’t make them too complicated or he will just give me that blank stare.

Read the rest here

Monday, June 19, 2006

A Little Free Time

With a few minutes of free time I decide to scan the Holonet. I don’t watch a lot of the regular show, so I scan CBS (Clone Being Stupid) channel. I look over some of the programs.

Home A Clone: The wacky adventures of the Batch 3s. No, get enough of that at work.

sorm daning fools

A Music Video by the Kamino singing star, Tiff I Nee: I Think We Can Clone Now! I dislike beings that do concerts in the Mall.


Then I see the latest in the "Pimp My …" series: Pimp My Clone.

trooper pimps

Now I remember why I don’t watch the Holonet to often.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Tagged by The Henchman

I got tagged!!! Like I am not busy enough with secrete missions and all my work on Last Gladiator Standing. Oh well, on to the tagged stuff.

1. Other than yourself pick the contestant that remains in Last Gladiator Standing you think will win? Professor X, he is one of the most creative writers.

2. What's your favorite color of Pink? Day-Glo Pink, painted on droids I am sniping.

3.What's your favorite episode of Golden Girls? The one where Blossom first gets her visit from "Aunt Flo" and become a crack addict.

4. If you were Anna Nicole Smith, what would you do with your child? Grow old real fast, like on a soap opera, date her and end up on Jerry Springer.

5. How many figures am I holding up? 379, if I count the one sticking out of your under-roos.

Decipher this code: *66hsther;o adthaodf stop. Deadpool had a brain aneurysm for breakfast.

7. What's wrong with this Meme? It was sent to a Galaxy a long time ago and a far far away.

8. Create your own question and answer it. Why was Howard the Duck ever made into a movie? Because someone thought a horny space duck with a thing for Earth chick was a good Idea: see deciphered code.

9. What's your wrestler name? The Mighty Tightly Whitey. (sponsored by Crest toothpaste)

10. Do you have a man crush on Luke Cage? No.

12. Are you the weakest link? Don’t know, Don’t care

13. Are you prepared for the Dalek invasion over here? I am prepared for anything that looks like a erotic toy used by Tammy Faye Baker and is pronounced Day Lick.

14. Switch lives with one blogger for a year? Fluke Starbucker, cuz he lives in Florida (I think)

15. Who has the best sidekick in LGS? Gaia: Fred the Fox is way cool. (don’t tell him I said that)

16. If you watched the season finale of Doctor Who, what did you think? I did not see the season finale, Rats!

17. Do you know who Lookwell! is? Adam West played him for a TV pilot, back in the early 90’s

18. Tag 3 people you wouldn't share socks with(except Henchmen): Gyrobot, Jaba Fatboy, and HotStuff (none of them have feet or feet my size)

P.S. this is post 66. I don't know why, but I feel I must smack a Jedi. Strange

LGS: How To Find A Sidekick

Cool!!! I get to choose a side kick. This should be great. I never get a sidekick; we always just have other clones. While I am thinking about how great it will be to have a side kick most of the other contestants run over to the Sidekick’s hangout room. I better get over there before all the good ones are taken.

Click here to see how I won this round.

Friday, June 09, 2006

Mission Report

I am traveling thought the financial district on Coruscant in disguise again. I am using a Dantooine trader ID. I enter one of the hundreds of non-descript building in the area and head to the offices of Kr’s Trading Association.

At the door I have to have a quick bio-metric scan. This is one of the stupider security devises I have seen. I am clone. I look like almost 5 billion other clones. I use my false ID and the door opens. I walk thought the empty reception room to one of the small offices.

The person in the room has his back to me as I enter. He stop working on the computer turns to me and say “Take a seat Alpha 20397, we have much to go over since your last report.”

Yes, Captain Bray.” I reply curtly. Bray was one of the clone troopers that were moving up the ranks quickly. He was efficient, loyal and very smart. I felt he was also overconfident at time. I am sure he will go far in the Grand Army of the Republic (G.A.R), as long as he never loses his head over his gains in power.

Give me your report, Trooper. I don’t have all day.” Bray barked. This was one of his traits, calling everyone by generic title. This was his way of showing that he, and those clone like him, were special, while the rest of us are fodder for the war. I let it slide off me and begin my report.

The observation of the Malastareian delegation has shown that they do have an extensive spy network on Coruscant. Their main focus seems to be the Nabooians. The Gran seem to have taken serious offence with them since the invasion of Naboo. I was able to access several of the delegations com terminals, including used by a security officer.”

And how did you manage that.” Bray broke in.

The Malastareian, like many of the groups we are assigned to guard or escort, quickly forget clones are sentient being. They act as if we are not there and let slip many items they shouldn’t. The security officer accessed his com station while I was in the room and lost his security ID in a transport once. I copied it and then dropped it into Senator Ask Aak’s diplomatic pouch.” I replied

Interesting. Some how in reviewing your record I didn’t see advanced Com slicing. Have you been picking up new skills from that so called Lt. Cmdr?” Bray inquired

I was trained by G.A.R techs after the battle of Geonosis, I’m sure it’s in my record. But yes Lt. Cmdr Oneida has been training some troopers with a background in Com slicing. I am not sure what this has to do with my mission?”

Ah Yes, the mission. Continue.

The spy network the Malastareian have put together is gathering information on many of the other senators. They have been quite successful in turning member of security details.”

The security personal? That is interesting. How are they turning them?”

The usual way; bribery, intimidation, blackmail. In some cases they have created conflicts within delegations to weaken the resolve of the intended target. A very multifarious operation. I could have obtained the entire list of compromised subjects and detailed reports of what information has been gathered.”

For the first time Bray shows sign of agitation, “But you did not do that Right! Your orders were clear. G.A.R. personnel are not to be implicated in any way. If you are found out, you will be terminated.” Bray glares at me

“I understand fully, Captain Bray.” I reply. “I know the Malastareian need to be found out by another source. I am developing a plan. Do you want to hear it?”

Bray stares at me for a moment. “No, I don’t think I do. But it better work Trooper. And don’t ask for help from the troopers you work with. Do you understand ?"


And be damm sure you don’t ask for help from that utreekov al’verde* of yours!”

Now it is my turn to feel slightly agitated. “Yes, Sir! I swear I will not ask anyone for help in this matter” I spit out.

You’re dismissed. Contact me to meet again after your plan is in motion and you are sure of success. Fail me, and you will die.”

I get up to leave and look at Captain Bray. “I will not fail the G.A.R.”


To be continued

* Mandalorian for “stupid commander’

Monday, June 05, 2006

Ask Aak is Running for Reelection

I have been derelict in my duties of letting the general public know what has been going on the Clone Trooper world lately. I am sorry, but Senator Ask Aak is up for reelection and I have been assigned guard duty to this fool once again. I am sure you have caught much of the campaign on the Holo-net or have received one of the 300 Holo-messages sent to your com-link over the past 72 hours.

We are making campaign stops all over the galaxy and I am very busy. Strange thing is the Senator is up for reelection on Malastare, so I have no idea why we had to make trips to Naboo, Dantooine and Dagobah. On Dagobah he even asked a snake if it was supporting him. When the snake didn’t answer he got in an argument with it ….AND lost. Now you didn’t see that on The FAUX News Network.

The worst thing is Senator Ask Aak stump speech attacking his opponent. Let me just give you some of his best smear lines.

My opponent says he is a Gran of the people. How can that be when everywhere he travels he is surrounded by Yes-men and security personal who never let the real people near him.”

That other guy smells really bad. I believe it is the smell of corruption. It smell like money, but only dirtier.”

My health care plan cover vision for all three eyes. My opponent only want you to wear bi-focals.”

In his time in the Senate my opponent let the Trade Federation invade Naboo *aid whispers in his ear* Uhh scratch that last comment that was some other Gran, who is a mighty fine fellow I might add.”

You get the idea. Strangest thing is I tried to Hooogle™ (a Holo-net search engine) Senator Ask Aak's opponent to see who was this villainous Gran. Turns out Senator Ask Aak is running unopposed.

What a rube. Hopefully I’ll be done with this duty soon and be back to normal clone life.

Pretty Fly for a Clone Guy

Dark Jedi Kriss gives TAK the Annie Leibovitz treatment. Stop on by and see how it went.

Click Here.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Just Wanted Coffee

All I wanted was a quick cup of Java to go from Dex’s Diner.

Instead I walk in to a full blown customer hissy-fit.

“Hans did not shoot first!! Damm you and your lying ways”

“Of course he shot first. He was a scoundrel you know!”

“You’ll eat those words!!!”

“Ahhhhh! Run away”

So off to work with no coffee. Dang this eternal war.