I have been derelict in my duties of letting the general public know what has been going on the Clone Trooper world lately. I am sorry, but Senator Ask Aak is up for reelection and I have been assigned guard duty to this fool once again. I am sure you have caught much of the campaign on the Holo-net or have received one of the 300 Holo-messages sent to your com-link over the past 72 hours.
We are making campaign stops all over the galaxy and I am very busy. Strange thing is the Senator is up for reelection on Malastare, so I have no idea why we had to make trips to Naboo, Dantooine and Dagobah. On Dagobah he even asked a snake if it was supporting him. When the snake didn’t answer he got in an argument with it ….AND lost. Now you didn’t see that on The FAUX News Network.
The worst thing is Senator Ask Aak stump speech attacking his opponent. Let me just give you some of his best smear lines.
“My opponent says he is a Gran of the people. How can that be when everywhere he travels he is surrounded by Yes-men and security personal who never let the real people near him.”
“That other guy smells really bad. I believe it is the smell of corruption. It smell like money, but only dirtier.”
“My health care plan cover vision for all three eyes. My opponent only want you to wear bi-focals.”
“In his time in the Senate my opponent let the Trade Federation invade Naboo *aid whispers in his ear* Uhh scratch that last comment that was some other Gran, who is a mighty fine fellow I might add.”
You get the idea. Strangest thing is I tried to Hooogle™ (a Holo-net search engine) Senator Ask Aak's opponent to see who was this villainous Gran. Turns out Senator Ask Aak is running unopposed.
What a rube. Hopefully I’ll be done with this duty soon and be back to normal clone life.
3 comments:
Normal life? I dont even know what that is!
The guy is lucky he's running unopposed. He might have a chance then.
What's wrong with Faux News Network? At least they don't have the Separatist slant of the other networks.
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