tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-156304582024-03-23T11:10:44.619-07:00A Army of (Cl)oneThe Tall Tales of a Veteran Clone TrooperA Army Of (Cl)Onehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08930894185761008708noreply@blogger.comBlogger218125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15630458.post-43374018477422536212007-12-25T08:07:00.000-08:002007-12-25T08:08:14.999-08:00Happy HolidaysMERRY CHRISTMAS FROM SANTA TROOPER<br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/90758832@N00/2135020513/" title="santa trooper by A Army of (Cl)One, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2069/2135020513_7ecd5d4a6a_o.jpg" width="213" height="320" alt="santa trooper" /></a>A Army Of (Cl)Onehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08930894185761008708noreply@blogger.com120tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15630458.post-80301172447176172632007-12-17T14:55:00.000-08:002007-12-17T14:57:45.886-08:00Not To Beat A Dead Horse...The Lt. Commander went out to find that none of the Clone Troopers were there. One finally ran up, panting heavily.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/90758832@N00/2118409259/" title="LT in a jeep by A Army of (Cl)One, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2009/2118409259_0764515cb3_o.jpg" width="300" height="198" alt="LT in a jeep" /></a><br /><span style="color:#cc33cc;">LT. COMMANDER CHECKING OUT THE TROOPS</span><br /><br />"Sorry, Lt. Commander! I can explain, you see I had a date and it ran a little late. I ran to the Shuttle but missed it, I hailed a speeder but it broke down, found a farm, bought a Taun Taun but it dropped dead, ran 10 miles, and now I'm here."<br /><br />The Lt. Commander was very skeptical about this explanation but at least the Clone Trooper was here so the Lt. Commander let him go.<br /><br />Moments later, eight more Clone Troopers came up to the general panting; she asked them why they were late.<br /><br />"Sorry, Lt. Commander! I had a date and it ran a little late, I ran to the Shuttle but missed it, I hailed a speeder but it broke down, found a farm, bought a Taun Taun but it dropped dead, ran 10 miles, and now I'm here." <br /><br />The Lt. Commander eyed them, feeling very skeptical but since she let the first guy go, she let them go, too.<br /><br />The TK 266 jogged up to the Lt. Commander, panting heavily. "Sorry, Lt. Commander! I had a date and it ran a little late, I ran to the Shuttle but missed it, I hailed a speeder but..."<br /><br />"Let me guess," the Lt. Commander interrupted, "it broke down."<br /><br />"No," said the Tak "there were so many dead Taun Taun in the road, it took forever to get around them."<br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/90758832@N00/2119185600/" title="dead taun taun by A Army of (Cl)One, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2378/2119185600_76c7bee67d_o.jpg" width="240" height="320" alt="dead taun taun" /></a><br /><span style="color:#cc33cc;">EWWW, A DEAD TAUN TAUN!!!</span>A Army Of (Cl)Onehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08930894185761008708noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15630458.post-91120561758582622102007-12-15T12:41:00.000-08:002007-12-15T12:43:05.161-08:00Who Wants to be a Supervillain: Finale<span style="font-size:180%;color:#ff0000;"><strong>Happening now on Who want to be a super villain.</strong></span> (we Have to make a doomsday devise and take over China)<br /><br />“Not bad ideas. I think we will use both of them in conjunction with mine. I call it the Duel Death Star!!!!!” I say with my best booming voice.<br /><strong><br /></strong><a href="http://whowantstobeavillain.blogspot.com/2007/12/aoc-rockin-china.html"><strong>Click here to read more</strong></a>A Army Of (Cl)Onehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08930894185761008708noreply@blogger.com322tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15630458.post-87222791151929522732007-11-26T10:27:00.000-08:002007-11-26T10:28:19.359-08:00Little Green Wisdom<span style="font-family:arial;">I had been assigned to General Yoda before large battle.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/90758832@N00/2066594314/" title="yoda by A Army of (Cl)One, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2204/2066594314_e292eb45ea_o.gif" width="329" height="240" alt="yoda" /></a><br /></span><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="color:#cc33cc;">“WHY BOTHERING ME, ARE YOU TROOPER?”<br /></span><br />He was meditating before thing got under way and he let out a long sigh.<br /><br />“<em>General Yoda, what do you thing of the coming battle? What did you meditation tell you</em>?” I asked<br /><br />“<em>Hard to see the future is. But lost this battle will be</em>.” Yoda says sagely<br /><br />“<em>If the battle lost, then why should we should we fight it</em>?” I reply<br /><br />Yoda looks at me and fires up his light saber. “<em>To find out who is the loser</em>!”<br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/90758832@N00/2065796875/" title="yoda_biography_3 by A Army of (Cl)One, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2289/2065796875_dce9e60283.jpg" width="375" height="416" alt="yoda_biography_3" /></a><br /><span style="color:#cc33cc;">COME ON MOFO, GET SOME</span></span>A Army Of (Cl)Onehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08930894185761008708noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15630458.post-72882451196731142032007-11-24T10:31:00.000-08:002007-11-26T10:32:32.992-08:00Super-Villain: taking over evil<span style="font-size:130%;">Happening Now on Who Wants To Be A Super Villain</span><br /><br />We had been going over different plans to take over an evil empire for the past two days, living on nothing but takeout and Starbucks coffee (<span style="font-size:85%;">note to self: do not let 11 year old evil girl scouts have a triple Carmel maccacitos.)</span><br /><br /><a href="http://whowantstobeavillain.blogspot.com/2007/11/aoc-taking-over-one-cup-at-time.html">Click here to find out more</a>A Army Of (Cl)Onehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08930894185761008708noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15630458.post-63417994112013687492007-11-20T11:08:00.000-08:002007-11-20T11:11:53.521-08:00Happy ThanksgivingI'll be off to the Homeworld to have Thanksgiving dinner with the family and the in-laws. Happy Thanksgiving to you all.<br /><br /><a title="SW thanksgiving 1 by A Army of (Cl)One, on Flickr" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/90758832@N00/2050878904/"></a><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/90758832@N00/2050878904/" title="SW thanksgiving 1 by A Army of (Cl)One, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2118/2050878904_7252abcdba_o.jpg" width="800" height="412" alt="SW thanksgiving 1" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br />(all three of you LOL)A Army Of (Cl)Onehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08930894185761008708noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15630458.post-44468362772826226782007-11-16T11:25:00.000-08:002007-11-16T11:26:56.704-08:00Super-Villain: Looking for Housing<strong>Happing Now on Who Wants To Be a Super-Villain</strong><br />*****************************************************<br /><br />Gabby thinks we should be out of the way on an Island. But Samantha worried about unruly lava flows and a lack of selling locations for cookies. I was worried about jedi fighting it out around the lair.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/90758832@N00/2038192932/" title="evil lair by A Army of (Cl)One, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2226/2038192932_85e17c0bea_o.jpg" width="380" height="337" alt="evil lair" /></a><br /><span style="color:#6633ff;">Run! Run from the Frosting slide</span><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://whowantstobeavillain.blogspot.com/2007/11/aoc-lairs-and-superheros.html">Click here to read more</a>.A Army Of (Cl)Onehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08930894185761008708noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15630458.post-77457791895085277712007-11-09T11:50:00.000-08:002007-11-09T12:09:45.818-08:00Let Me Give You A Little Tip...<span style="font-family:arial;"><strong>Special New Report from the Faux New Network.<br /></strong><br />The Faux News Network had recently heard rumors that </span><a href="http://www.starwars.com/databank/character/amidala/index.html"><span style="font-family:arial;">Senator Padme Amidala</span></a><span style="font-family:arial;"> hates poor people. While on a recent campaign trip to </span><a href="http://www.starwars.com/databank/location/tatooine/index.html"><span style="font-family:arial;">Tatooine</span></a><span style="font-family:arial;">, Senator Amidala stopped to eat a local diner and stiffed the waitress.<br /><br /></span><a title="Photo Sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/90758832@N00/1936437240/"><span style="font-family:arial;"><img height="229" alt="diner" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2169/1936437240_be39ea263f_o.jpg" width="300" /></span></a><span style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="color:#6633ff;">AT A DINER ON TATOOINE<br /></span><br />Even though other networks are reporting that this is all misunderstandings, we here at Faux News have chose to ignore the fact and run with a little personal destruction.<br /><br />During an interview with the waitress, Molly Nice, stated that she did not receive a tip from the Senator.<br /><br /></span><a title="Photo Sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/90758832@N00/1936430884/"><span style="font-family:arial;"><img height="278" alt="waitress" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2296/1936430884_d3dedf0746_o.jpg" width="270" /></span></a><span style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="color:#6633ff;">TAKING ORDERS, BUT NOT TIPS<br /></span><br />When asked if she thought not getting a tip was proof that Senator Amidala was the greatest evil in the universe and a threat to everything we hold dear in the Republic, she replied, “No, I think she just forgot. She is a nice lady and I would vote for her.”<br /><br />It is obvious that not getting a tip from Senator Amidala has crushed this poor woman soul and reason for living.<br /><br /></span><a title="Photo Sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/90758832@N00/1935610077/"><span style="font-family:arial;"><img height="240" alt="kunsichjawa.2" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2404/1935610077_0a4439564e_m.jpg" width="195" /></span></a><span style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="color:#6633ff;">WORST PHOTOSHOP …. EVER<br /></span><br />Local Representative to the Republic, Jawa Keysinitch, stated “This just show why we need universal health care. Did you just see that UFO? What we need to do is negotiate with </span><a href="http://www.starwars.com/databank/character/countdooku/index.html"><span style="font-family:arial;">Count Dooku</span></a><span style="font-family:arial;"> and come to a peaceable solution. And furthermore my wife is hot!”<br /><br />When reached for a comment Senator Amidala stated she had given a tip. “I told Miss Nice that her hairstyle had to go and gave her the name of my hairstylist. Duh, that the best tip of all.’<br /><br /></span><a title="Photo Sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/90758832@N00/1935609863/"><span style="font-family:arial;"><img height="240" alt="Padme" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2255/1935609863_518e228bb7_m.jpg" width="156" /></span></a><span style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="color:#6633ff;">SHE DOES HAVE GREAT HAIR.<br /></span><br />Faux New also contacted Master Yoda who responded by saying, “Nothing better you have to report? More important news, there isn’t? Balanced and Fair, is this? Why I watch the news not, is your fault</span>.”A Army Of (Cl)Onehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08930894185761008708noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15630458.post-56687752937048259342007-11-08T08:45:00.000-08:002007-11-08T08:49:27.718-08:00Tak's Caption Contest V 2.7It is once again time for Tak's Caption Contest.<br /><br />It is easy to play . Just put your funniest/lamest/profoundest caption on the picture.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/90758832@N00/1920708382/" title="Photo Sharing"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2325/1920708382_044888113e_o.jpg" width="440" height="600" alt="Storm Trooper little vader" /></a><br /><br /><br />I knew I could get around that writers strike!!A Army Of (Cl)Onehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08930894185761008708noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15630458.post-68919871910662073932007-11-07T09:08:00.000-08:002007-11-08T11:25:18.379-08:00Who Want to be a Supervillain: Robbing a bankHapping now on Who Wants To Be A Super-Villain<br /><br /><em>“Well OK then. Let get to the plan.” I say “Gabby, you and the gezzer patrol will set up in the park and do a civil war re-enactment show for the town folks. You be playing the part of the Connecticut </em><a name="3rdinf"></a><em>3rd Regiment Infantry….”<br /><br />“Weren’t they out of New Haven?” Gabby asks “Is Star Hollow even near New Haven.”<br /><br />“Ok, Gabby you guys can be the Connecticut 6th Regiment Infantry ….”<br /><br />“But they were out of Hartford. Are we anywhere near Hartford?” Gabby asks again.</em><br /><em>*********</em><br /><em></em><br /><a href="http://whowantstobeavillain.blogspot.com/2007/11/how-to-steal-and-get-away-with-it.html">Click here to read more</a>A Army Of (Cl)Onehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08930894185761008708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15630458.post-51957582721104734082007-11-05T11:12:00.000-08:002007-11-06T11:22:53.923-08:00Strike that ...<span style="font-family:arial;">It was a quiet day on patrol, so my squad decided to drop into the local Cantina to see if we could track down some rebel scum.<br /><br />As we walked in to the place we see a Jedi, a Senator and a Wookie staring at us.<br /><br /><a title="Photo Sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/90758832@N00/1877140544/"><img height="300" alt="jedi wookie and senator" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2404/1877140544_fb8835baaa_o.jpg" width="371" /></a><br /></span><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="color:#6633ff;">A LIZARD, A FUZZBALL AND COUSIN IT WALK IN TO A BAR …<br /></span><br />“Tak, what are you doing?” whispers Master Yoda<br /><br />“Uh, telling an amusing anecdote. Why are you interrupting me?” I ask<br /><br />“So, the memo you did not get?” Yoda inquires<br /><br /><a title="Photo Sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/90758832@N00/419157534/"><img height="304" alt="yoda 2" src="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/152/419157534_2758a44743_o.jpg" width="376" /></a><br /><span style="color:#6633ff;">STOP, YOU MUST!</span><br /><br />“No. No memo this morning. What did I forget to wash your speeder? I am sure I did that yesterday.” I reply<br /><br />“Out the window, you must look. There, your future, will you see.” The green Jedi intones<br /><br />I look out the window.<br /><br /><a title="Photo Sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/90758832@N00/1876249217/"><img height="345" alt="writer strike" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2080/1876249217_cf18356f33_o.jpg" width="269" /></a><br /></span><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="color:#6633ff;">COULDN’T THEY HAVE WRITTEN BETTER SIGNS?<br /></span><br />I look at Master Yoda with confusion.<br /><br />“The writers have struck and so must you.” Yoda states.<br /><br />“That doesn’t affect me. I am not a writer. Have you been reading the crap I put up here?” I start<br /><br />Master Yoda looks at me, “Yes, crap it is. But better than most stuff on </span><a href="http://www.cwtv.com/"><span style="font-family:arial;">The CW</span></a><span style="font-family:arial;">. And get me started not on the fall line up on ABC. No, Stop you must. Re-runs and reality shows are all you can do. Go now.” He waves me out of the Cantina.<br /><br />So here are some re-runs and a link to a reality show.<br /><br /></span><a href="http://armyofclone.blogspot.com/2007/01/taks-caption-contest.html"><span style="font-family:arial;">Tak’s Caption Contest</span></a><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span><a href="http://armyofclone.blogspot.com/2006/08/some-of-what-i-have-learned-being.html"><span style="font-family:arial;">What I have learned being a Trooper</span></a><span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br /></span><a href="http://whowantstobeavillain.blogspot.com/"><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">WHO WANT TO BE A SUPER-VILLAIN</span></a>A Army Of (Cl)Onehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08930894185761008708noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15630458.post-72638098822805945202007-11-01T12:26:00.001-07:002007-11-01T12:26:56.249-07:00More on crappy jobsOn one of the junk hole planets we liberated, I was assigned with two oath troopers the task of presenting the news on a planet wide board cast. Each trooper was assigned a “real” name to make the population connect better with us. I, TK 266 was called Terry, MD 598 was called Matthew and RT 111 was called Rudolf.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/90758832@N00/1814603935/" title="Photo Sharing"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2267/1814603935_799a1e7e38.jpg" width="150" height="396" alt="troopper yellow" /></a><br />TK 266, Terry<br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/90758832@N00/1814603845/" title="Photo Sharing"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2057/1814603845_5576b637c3.jpg" width="180" height="498" alt="trooper red" /></a><br />RT 111, Rudolf<br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/90758832@N00/1815447348/" title="Photo Sharing"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2007/1815447348_7195b56873.jpg" width="189" height="500" alt="trooper blue" /></a><br />MD 598, Matthew<br /><br />At the news station, a husband and wife team from <a href="http://www.starwars.com/databank/location/coruscant/index.html">Coruscant</a> were told to figure out which of use would do the different jobs: Newscaster, Sports reporter and Weather Guy.<br /><br />After banter it about for a while and testing all three of us out. The Wife decides that I should be the Sport reporter, Matthew should be the Newscaster and Rudolf should be the Weather Guy.<br /><br />“Are you sure?” asked the husband.<br /><br />“Not so much about the news caster and the sports reporter, but after that interview I am sure about the weather guy>” She replied<br /><br />“The red one? Why?” Asked the Husband.<br /><br />“Because” the wife beamed, “<span style="color:#ff0000;">Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear</span>."A Army Of (Cl)Onehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08930894185761008708noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15630458.post-83569100901973964572007-11-01T11:49:00.000-07:002007-11-01T11:52:18.124-07:00Who Want to be a Supervillain: Looking for helpThis week I have to get some henchmen:<br /><br /><em>Help Wanted: Looking for motivated and skilled associates for less then lawful enterprise. Duties may include all sort of bad things. Good waged, Health care and Dental for all. Please apply in person on Friday at Villain Park near the Koma Center.</em><br /><em></em><br /><em></em><br /><em></em><br /><a href="http://whowantstobeavillain.blogspot.com/2007/11/aoc-henchman-finds-some-henchmen.html">Click here to read more</a>A Army Of (Cl)Onehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08930894185761008708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15630458.post-20732012000715117272007-10-29T10:36:00.000-07:002007-10-29T10:37:56.356-07:00I blame Vanilla<span style="font-family:arial;">I have been having all sort of weird dreams lately. Most involve strange thing happing on different world.<br /><br />In the most recent dream I was lost on the ice world of </span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hoth"><span style="font-family:arial;">Hoth</span></a><span style="font-family:arial;">, Stranded on a narrow stretch of land between the two large continents.<br /><br />There was a vicious storm that limited visibility to only 3 meters.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/90758832@N00/1799995776/" title="Photo Sharing"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2342/1799995776_e470698011_o.jpg" width="400" height="300" alt="Hothplanetsurface" /></a><br />BRRRR HOTH IS ICE COLD.<br /><br />I woke up in a cold sweat and realized I was dreaming of a white isthmus.</span>A Army Of (Cl)Onehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08930894185761008708noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15630458.post-47141161678821823712007-10-25T23:02:00.000-07:002007-10-25T23:04:25.631-07:00WWBV - the game show<span style="font-size:130%;color:#6633ff;"><strong>Happing now on ‘WHO WANT TO BE A VILLAIN”<br /></strong></span><br />The Henchman just keeps shaking his head.<br /><br />I try to break the silence “<em>So do I sing <strong>Ice Ice Baby</strong> now? I've been practicing my Running Man dance</em>.” .....<br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://whowantstobeavillain.blogspot.com/2007/10/to-extreme.html">Click here to find out more.</a>A Army Of (Cl)Onehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08930894185761008708noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15630458.post-86061354800779718172007-10-24T11:54:00.000-07:002007-10-24T23:23:47.254-07:00Be careful how you say things ...<span style="font-family:arial;">One of the more mind numbing and annoying assignment a Trooper can get is guard duty at the Republic Senate building. </span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">The problems with the assignment are two-fold: having to talk to people all day and having to deal with the Senator from all over the galaxy. </span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">It is bad enough having the deal with Senator Ask Aak, but deal with the lot of them all at once can be damaging to ones psyche. Here are examples from a typical day.</span><br /><br /><br /><p><span style="font-family:arial;">*************</p></span><p></p><p></p><br /><br /><strong>AOC</strong>: Good day Senator Balkie. Hope the transport in was not to bad.<br /><br /><strong>Senator Balkie</strong>: No, it was fine *<em>begins to walk through the detector</em>*<br /><br /><strong>AOC</strong>: Senator, you forgot to slide you ID card through the slot *<em>turns off the alarm</em>*<br /><br /><strong>Senator Balkie</strong>: Ha Ha, I do that a lot, I am getting forgetful at my age. *<em>begins to slide the card wrong</em>*<br /><br /><strong>AOC</strong>: Turn the card over … no not that way …. The magnetic strip has to face me ….No turn the strip down …. No, strip down facing me …..Ahhhhh my eyes … that is not what I meant!!!!!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a title="Photo Sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/90758832@N00/1731447613/"><img height="276" alt="sw old lady" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2152/1731447613_9a3361b55c_o.jpg" width="148" /></a><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:85%;color:#cc33cc;"><strong>Sen.Balkie in the buff<br /></strong></span><br />After washing my eyes with Hydrogen Peroxide for an hour I was back to work.<br /><br />I see Senator Lairee K-Reg move over to my line.<br /><br /><strong>AOC</strong>: Good day Senator K-Reg. How was the flight in from </span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Star_Wars_planets_%28H-J%29"><span style="font-family:arial;">Induomodo</span></a><span style="font-family:arial;">?<br /><br /><a title="Photo Sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/90758832@N00/1732301040/"><img height="280" alt="sw larry craig 2" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2219/1732301040_62e928d37b_o.jpg" width="230" /></a><br /></span><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:85%;color:#cc33cc;"><strong>Sen. K-Reg and his wide stance on the issues.</strong><br /></span><br /><strong>Senator K-Reg</strong>: It was just awful, with the exception of the stop over on Mimban. Great restrooms there.<br /><br /><strong>AOC</strong>: Uhhh, Yeah.<br /><br /><strong>Senator K-Reg</strong>: Did you know TK-266, that TK is a common middle name on Indumodo?<br /><br /><strong>AOC</strong>: No, Sir I did not.<br /><br /><strong>Senator K-Reg</strong>: Any chance you are part Imdumodoian?<br /><br /><strong>AOC</strong>: No Sir, I don’t think so. </span><br /></span><span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><strong>Senator K-Reg</strong>: Maybe you have a little Indumodoina in you? What do you think?<br /><br /><strong>AOC</strong>: I do not believe so, sir.<br /><br /><strong>Senator K-Reg</strong>: *<em>leaning in close</em>* would you like to have a little Indumdoian in you? *<em>he winks</em>*<br /><br /><strong>AOC</strong>: *<em>sighs</em>* Senator, for the 37th time, no.<br /><br />********************<br /><br /><br />I wish I was killing droids.</span><br /><br /><br /></span></span>A Army Of (Cl)Onehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08930894185761008708noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15630458.post-12786748512288936382007-10-18T10:56:00.000-07:002007-10-18T21:28:21.501-07:00Don't Ask Aak, Don't Tell<span style="font-family:arial;">Once again I have been assigned to Senator Ask Aak's detail. This assignment did not seem to be too bad. It turns out that the Senator is an avid, but lousy hunter. Every year he travels to different world with his hunting buddy to try and bag some big game.<br /><br /><a title="Photo Sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/90758832@N00/298902006/"><img height="406" alt="Senator Ask Ask" src="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/118/298902006_9d353da427_o.jpg" width="290" /></a><br /><span style="color:#6633ff;">MY FAVORITE BIG LAME HUNTER</span> <em><span style="color:#6633ff;">(Sen. Aak)</span></em><br /><br />Senator Ask Aak informed me that he and his buddy will be hunting Krayt Dragons on Tattoine. They had a successful hunt on the planet several years ago. My job will be to pilot the two “hunters” around planet side.<br /><br />We head out into the Dune Sea, traveling for several days. Senator Ask Aak finally tells me to set down in a barren valley that he remembers from his last trip.<br /><br />I set up a base camp at the skiff, while the Senator and his buddy head off into the desert. I spend a peaceful two day on my own (only contemplating leaving the Senator to perish in the Dune Sea once or twice).<br /><br /><a title="Photo Sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/90758832@N00/1619781754/"><img height="437" alt="sw_krayt2_big" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2235/1619781754_c5f32ba382_o.jpg" width="405" /></a><br /></span><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="color:#6633ff;">JUST FRACKING KRAYT<br /></span><br />I get a com call to come pick-up the Senator. As I land at the site I see a massive Krayt Dragon and both men with big smiles.<br /><br />We begin to load the dead beast on to the skiff, but I start to get worried about the weight of the beast.<br /><br />“Senator, I don’t think we can take this thing out of here on the skiff. It is just too big.” I explain<br /><br />The Senator’s buddy replies, "Look the pilot told us the same thing last time, but in the end we took out a Krayt bigger then this one."</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">All three of us argued for several minutes more. I finally gave up and agreed to fly everything out.We load up the Krayt and fire up the skiff. </span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">The skiff shudders and strains trying to take off. It finally gets the off the ground. We are flying low and I try to pull the skiff higher to get out of the valley and crash into a large sand dune.</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">The three of us, dazed and confused, make there way out of the wreckage. </span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">I look at the two of then and snap, "<em><span style="color:#3366ff;">Where the heck are we</span></em>?"</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">The Senator looks around, "<em><span style="color:#ff0000;">About half a mile further than we got last time</span></em>!"</span>A Army Of (Cl)Onehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08930894185761008708noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15630458.post-64641301674541449552007-10-16T11:33:00.000-07:002007-10-16T11:37:07.586-07:00Womp Rats, Jawas and Spies Oh MyI was on patrol on Tattoine, when I saw a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style Mud Hut:<br /><br /><strong><span style="font-size:130%;">Talking Womp Rat for Sale</span></strong><br /><br />I hop out of my rig, bang on the door and a Jawa appears and tells me the Womp Rat is in the back. I go into the back and see a ugly looking Womp Rat sitting there.<br /><br /><a title="Photo Sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/90758832@N00/1590320782/"><img height="375" alt="womprat" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2100/1590320782_8e1fe4d59a.jpg" width="500" /></a><br />BUT CAN HE CONVERSE OR IS HE JUST A LIMBAUGH<br /><br />"You talk?" I asks.<br /><br />"Yep," the Womp Rat replies.<br /><br />After I recover from the shock of hearing a Womp Rat talk, I ask "So, what's your story?"<br /><br />The Womp Rat looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the Chancellor and he had me sworn into the toughest branch of the armed services ... The Grand Army of The Republic... You know one of their nicknames is "The Devil Rats."<br /><br />In no time at all they had me jetting from planet to planet, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders; because no one figured a Womp Rat would be eavesdropping.<br /><br />I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running, but the jetting around really tired me out and I knew I wasn't getting any younger.<br /><br />So, I decided to settle down. I retired from the G.A.R (8 Womp Rat years is 56 G.A.R years) and signed up for a job at the spaceport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in."<br /><br />"I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a litter of baby Womps, and now I'm just retired."<br /><br />I was amazed. I go back in and ask the Jawa what he wants for the Womp Rat.<br /><br />"Ten Credits," the Jawa says.<br /><br />"Ten Credits? This Rat is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"<br /><br />"Because he's a liar! He never did any of that crap. He was in the Republic Navy!"A Army Of (Cl)Onehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08930894185761008708noreply@blogger.com41tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15630458.post-20020222556656122222007-10-02T13:21:00.000-07:002007-10-02T13:23:01.322-07:00Beer is goodI was in a Cantina on Coruscant. I walk up to the bar at the same moment that a Senator and a Jawa approached.<br /><br />Simultaneously, all three of us ordered a beer. The bartender let out a little laugh and then pours three drafts.<br /><br />As we get our beers, we all notice bugs floating in the foam.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/90758832@N00/1472521411/" title="Photo Sharing"><img src="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1368/1472521411_cf4cd6701d_o.jpg" width="309" height="576" alt="beer" /></a><br /><strong><span style="color:#6633ff;">It is doing the breast stroke?<br /></span></strong><br />The Senator wrinkles his nose, pushes his beer away and says “Bartender, what kind of establishment are you running. I am appalled.<br /><br /> I snort my displeasure at the Senator, flick the fly out of the beer, slam it down in one go and mutter “pansy”<br /><br />Meanwhile the Jawa snatches up fly, begins to smack the fly on the back, while screaming “SPIT IT OUT! SPIT IT OUT”A Army Of (Cl)Onehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08930894185761008708noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15630458.post-45526459824062578152007-09-20T11:12:00.000-07:002007-09-20T11:14:45.267-07:0051 Days Later ...<span style="font-family:arial;">I was on leave and relaxing on </span><a href="http://www.starwars.com/databank/location/corellia/index.html"><span style="font-family:arial;">Corellia</span></a><span style="font-family:arial;">. While me and several other Troopers were enjoying some Ale at a local tavern, when the door burst open in come four exuberant Corellian Marines.<br /><br />They go to the bar and order five bottles of beer and ten glasses. After getting their order over, they sit down at a large table. The caps are popped, the glasses are filled and they begin toasting and chanting, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"<br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/90758832@N00/1413963832/" title="Photo Sharing"><img src="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1102/1413963832_aac31017e2.jpg" width="375" height="500" alt="space marine" /></a><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#6633ff;">GUESS THEY DON’T HAVE THAT WHOLE “NO FACIAL HAIR” RULE<br /></span><br />Soon four more Marines arrive, take up their drinks and the chanting grows, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"<br /><br />Finally the last two Marine comes in, one with a picture under his arm. He walks over to the table, and sets the picture in the middle and the table erupts. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">Up jump the others, they begin dancing around the table, exchanging high-fives, all the while chanting, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">I can't contain my curiosity any longer, so I walks over to the table. There in the center is a beautifully framed child's puzzle. The frenzy dies down as I approach and ask asks one of the Marines, "What’s all the chanting and celebration about?" </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">The Marine who brought in the picture pipes in, "Everyone thinks that the Corellian Marines are dumb and they make fun of us. So, we decided to set the record straight. Ten of us got together, bought this puzzle and put it together. The side of the box said 2-4 years, but we put it together in 51 days." </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/90758832@N00/1413963920/" title="Photo Sharing"><img src="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1072/1413963920_f5d9f82eb6_o.gif" width="300" height="216" alt="puzzle" /></a></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:85%;color:#6633ff;">MAN, THESE GUYS ARE LAMER THAN I THOUGHT.</span><br /></span>A Army Of (Cl)Onehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08930894185761008708noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15630458.post-53996172104712523102007-09-17T10:17:00.000-07:002007-09-17T10:48:54.514-07:00The Ooteeni TourSenator Ask Aak was on a goodwill tour of the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Outer_Rim_Territories">Outer Rim</a> and stopped on <a href="http://www.starwars.com/databank/location/tatooine/index.html">Tattoine</a>. As Usual I am performing security duty for the Senator.<br /><br /><a title="Photo Sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/90758832@N00/298902006/"><img height="406" alt="Senator Ask Ask" src="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/118/298902006_9d353da427.jpg" width="290" /></a><br /><span style="color:#6633ff;"><span style="font-size:85%;">SENATOR ASK AAK – GIVING GOODWILL</span><br /></span><br />Our first stop was a Bantha farm run by Jawas. The Senator was a little surprised to hear that Jawas were into ranching, being that Jawas are know for being scrape dealers. I informed him that Jawas are involved in many economic pursuits and before he asked clued him in that not all Jawas were <a href="http://armyofclone.blogspot.com/2007/08/not-that-there-is-problem-with-that.html">Dray</a>.<br /><br /><a title="Photo Sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/90758832@N00/403696511/"><img height="240" alt="jawas" src="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/154/403696511_259eb179a5_m.jpg" width="181" /></a><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#6633ff;">FARMING AND NOT DRAY<br /></span><br />Once some of the Jawas had gathered around, Senator Ask Aak began his goodwill speech.<br /><br />“My Friends, I stand here today to bring you greeting from the Republic. We want to expand the goodness of the Republic to worlds like yours, so as to enrich all of our lives.”<br /><br />The Jawas erupt into cheers of “Ooteeni, <span style="font-size:130%;">Ooteeni</span>!!”<br /><br />The Senator continues, pleased by the cheers “Working together we can bring forth peace and prosperity to the Galaxy …”<br /><br />More cheers “Ooteeni, Ooteeni, <span style="font-size:130%;">Ooteeni</span>, <span style="font-size:130%;">Ooteeni</span>!”<br /><br />“And you my little droid loving friends will be at the forefront of our thought as we more towards this Glorious future!” Senator Ask Aak thunders on<br /><br />“Ooteeni, Ooteeni, Ooteeni, Ooteeni, Ooteeni, <span style="font-size:130%;">Ooteeni</span>, <span style="font-size:130%;">Ooteeni</span>, <span style="font-size:180%;"><strong>Ooteeni</strong></span>” the Jaws thunder back.<br /><br /><a title="Photo Sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/90758832@N00/1321691736/"><img height="280" alt="banthas" src="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1141/1321691736_e6dfc13986.jpg" width="500" /></a><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="color:#6633ff;">TAKING THE BANTHA TOUR</span><br /></span><br />After the speech we tehn take a tour of the Bantha Ranch. As we wander through one of the sand “pastures” I warn the Senator “Watch out that you don’t step in any of the Ooteeni or you’ll never get that smell of your shoes.”A Army Of (Cl)Onehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08930894185761008708noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15630458.post-75501597633562247302007-09-13T09:57:00.000-07:002007-09-13T10:00:59.883-07:00Wookie DroppingsI was stationed on the Wookie home world of <a href="http://www.starwars.com/databank/location/kashyyyk/index.html">Kashyyyk</a>. The place is a jungle and the Wookie live in grass and wood home built high in the trees.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/90758832@N00/1372390953/" title="Photo Sharing"><img src="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1360/1372390953_b2315ff285_o.jpg" width="450" height="245" alt="kashyyyk" /></a><br />WATCH OUT FOR WOOKIE DROPPINGS<br /><br />In the area I was patrolling there were several Wookie clans that have been fighting each other. One of their customs when they beat another tribe was to take the most prized possession of the enemy's chief.<br /><br />After a particularly fierce fight a rich clan was defeated. The cheif of the defeated clan had a prized solid gold throne.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/90758832@N00/1373295062/" title="Photo Sharing"><img src="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1067/1373295062_3c27eb6261_m.jpg" width="124" height="240" alt="gold throne" /></a><br />LOOKS MORE LIKE AN EWOK THROWN<br /><br />The winning clan took the throne, and put it in the loft in their chief’s house. Unfortunately, the throne was much too heavy to be kept in a home build of grass and wood, and it fell right through the platform, falling 250 feet onto the chief, killing him instantly.<br /><br />My squad was called into the Wookie’s village to check out the problem and make an assessment.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/90758832@N00/1373295136/" title="Photo Sharing"><img src="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1080/1373295136_8986acd0fd.jpg" width="500" height="213" alt="wookies world" /></a><br />MAKING MY REPORT<br /><br />After reviewing all the facts I called my commander and told him the bottom line was <span style="color:#ff0000;">people who live in Grass Houses shouldn't stow thrones</span>A Army Of (Cl)Onehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08930894185761008708noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15630458.post-17410264061106487992007-09-10T17:15:00.000-07:002007-09-10T17:19:07.504-07:00I Missed This Night At The Bar<span style="font-family:arial;">An Abyssin walked in to a cantina, ordered an Ol’ Mos Elsey beer. After drinking it down in one gulp, He turns to the crowd and says “<em>I’m the toughest SOB you loser will ever see. You have better watch out or you may just lose you life</em>.”<br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/90758832@N00/1357402350/" title="Photo Sharing"><img src="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1362/1357402350_2c4fb616eb_o.jpg" width="320" height="408" alt="abyssin" /></a><br /><span style="color:#6600cc;">HE</span><span style="color:#6600cc;"> HAS ALL THE MAKINGS OF AN ASS IN HIS NAME.</span><br /><br />The rest of the Cantina stares for a moment, then goes back to their drinking.<br /><br />The Abyssin walks over to a Bith and shouts “<em>Who’s the toughest guy in this stinkin’ joint</em>!!”<br /><br />Terrified the Bith stutter “<em>You are, mighty warrior</em>.”<br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/90758832@N00/1356512185/" title="Photo Sharing"><img src="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1391/1356512185_15dc2d1fda.jpg" width="291" height="440" alt="bith_1" /></a><br /></span><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="color:#6600cc;">HAD THE BITH SCARED OUT OF HIM.<br /></span><br />Next the Abyssin grabs a Rodin by the collar and barks “<em>Who is the toughest guy in the rat hole of a bar</em>!”<br /><br />The Rodin, shaking in his boots whimpers, “<em>Oh Sir, you are the toughest being here</em>.”<br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/90758832@N00/1357402446/" title="Photo Sharing"><img src="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1221/1357402446_adba499ba4_o.jpg" width="290" height="435" alt="bludlow_gesture" /></a><br /></span><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="color:#6600cc;">FEELING A LITTLE BLUE AFTER HIS ENCOUNTER WITH THE BULLY<br /></span><br />Finally the Abyssin swaggers over to a wookie and bellow “<em>Who is the toughest Mo-Fo in the junky little cantina!</em>’<br /><br />Fast as lightning, the Wookie snatches up the Abyssin by his legs, slams him against a table half a dozen times leaving the Abyssin feeling like he’d been run over by a space freighter. The Wookie then stomps on the Abyssin till it looks like a tortilla, finishes his drink and ambles away. </span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/90758832@N00/1357402496/" title="Photo Sharing"><img src="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1293/1357402496_24fc448d53_o.jpg" width="300" height="400" alt="chewbacca a" /></a><br /><span style="color:#6600cc;">ALL HE WANTED WAS A DRINK AND A FLEA BATH</span></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">The Abyssin lets out a moan of pain, lifts his head weakly and hollers after the Wookie - "<em>Just because you don't know the answer, you don't have to get so upset about it</em>!"</span>A Army Of (Cl)Onehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08930894185761008708noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15630458.post-47582509627069809932007-09-06T10:10:00.000-07:002007-09-06T11:32:23.042-07:00I Wish I Had A Mai Tai<span style="font-family:arial;">I was on patrol riding a Bantha through miles of the sun-drenched desert searching for some sign of life, due to the fact I was a little lost. </span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"><a title="Photo Sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/90758832@N00/403696519/"><img height="372" alt="sandtroopers" src="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/131/403696519_8aeb823b17.jpg" width="500" /></a></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="color:#6633ff;">WHERE DID THESE GUYS GO?</span> </span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">My supplies were running low when the Bantha died. Now on foot, I desperately sought refuge from the heat, and, most importantly, a source for water. </span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">Suddenly, I came across a Jawa vendor in the middle of the desert. </span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"><a title="Photo Sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/90758832@N00/1215386323/"><img height="343" alt="jawa" src="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1217/1215386323_87b8eff85c.jpg" width="500" /></a></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="color:#6633ff;">CHECK OUT MY SALE RACK</span> </span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">"Thank the force I found you!" I cried. "Please help me. I'm in dire need of some water." </span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">"Well," said the Jawa, "I don't have any water. But would you like to buy one of these fine ties." </span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">"What am I going to do with a tie?" I asked. </span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">"That's what I'm selling sir. If you don't like it, I can't help you." </span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">I left the Jawa and walked on for many more miles, hoping each minute that he would find refuge from the scorching sun. </span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">Suddenly I spotted a Jawa restaurant in the distance. </span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">Unable to comprehend a restaurant located in the middle of the desert, I assumed the place was a mirage, but decided to check it out anyway. A</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">As I approached the door, I was amazed to see the place actually existed. </span><br /><span style="font-family:Arial;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"><a title="Photo Sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/90758832@N00/403696511/"><img height="385" alt="jawas" src="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/154/403696511_259eb179a5_o.jpg" width="290" /></a></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="color:#6633ff;">WHO WOULD OPEN A RESTAURANT OUT HERE</span> </span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">The Jawa doorman stopped me before I entered. </span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"><a title="Photo Sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/90758832@N00/1336430083/"><img height="184" alt="jawa 2" src="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1291/1336430083_d9476ef2a7_o.jpg" width="255" /></a></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="color:#6633ff;">DANG IT! A BOUNCER!</span> </span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">"Excuse me sir," the Jawa said, "But you can't come in here without a tie!"<br /><br /></span><span style="font-family:arial;"></span>A Army Of (Cl)Onehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08930894185761008708noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15630458.post-67520992120994895902007-09-04T07:31:00.000-07:002007-09-05T22:17:27.526-07:00"Riding" BettyI had been station with a small unit on the dessert world of Tattoine. For 30 miles in any direction was nothing but sand and hot and more sand. As were we in the middle of the “Sandstorm” season, most of our vehicles were out of commission.<br /><br />After about a month, we were assigned a new Republic Officer. He was some poor junior grade who must have pissed off someone up the chain of command to get this assignment.<br /><br />It was my job to show him around and answer his questions.<br /><br />“<em><span style="color:#33cc00;">So Trooper</span></em>,” the Officer inquired, “<em><span style="color:#33cc00;">How do you do patrols without vehicles? You can’t go far on foot</span></em>?”<br /><br />“<em><span style="color:#3366ff;">We have been given a group of Banthas, Sir</span></em>” I see his confusion; someone didn’t do his home work. “<em><span style="color:#3366ff;">A native animal of large size, which is accustomed to the heat and used by the locals as a primary mode of transportation</span></em>.”<br /><br /><a title="Photo Sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/90758832@N00/1321691736/"></a><a title="Photo Sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/90758832@N00/1321691736/"><img height="280" alt="banthas" src="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1141/1321691736_e6dfc13986.jpg" width="500" /></a><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#6600cc;">HEARD OF BANTHA? NO. YOU DID NOT DO YOUR HOMEWORK AS WELL I SEE.<br /></span><br />The Officer nods and we continue the tour of the outpost. Towards the end I see the Officer is trying to work up the nerve to ask a question.<br /><br />“<em><span style="color:#33cc00;">Ummm, Trooper. What about …..errrr…. well …. Companionship</span></em>?” the officer asks with hesitation.<br /><br />“<em><span style="color:#3366ff;">You mean sex, sir</span></em>?” I reply<br /><br />He turns a little red and nods his head.<br /><br />“<em><span style="color:#3366ff;">The Troopers have to take matter in to their own hands, so to speak. But the officer can use Betty</span></em>.” I explain<br /><br />“<em><span style="color:#33cc00;">Oh, I see the base has a concubine. Very good</span></em>.” The Officer smiles.<br /><br />I laugh “<em><span style="color:#3366ff;">No, Sir. Betty is one of the Banthas</span></em>.”<br /><br />“<em><span style="color:#33cc00;">What?!?!?! …. That’s …. What?. Your dismissed trooper</span></em>” The officer barks at me, turns and storms off to the officer quarters.<br /><br />At the end of the officer's first week I am on late night guard duty, when I see the young officer walking across the compound carrying a ladder. He heads into the stable and come out 20 minutes later.<br /><br />“<em><span style="color:#33cc00;">Trooper</span></em>,” he hails “<em><span style="color:#33cc00;">You know what, that Betty is not half bad. It took a while to figure out how to … well you know, but that is what the ladder was for. I think I might have another go next week</span></em>.” He gives me a thumbs up.<br /><br />I look at him askance and say “<span style="color:#3366ff;">What you like to do is up to you Sir, but most of the other officers ride Betty into town, go to the cantina and hit on the locals</span>.”A Army Of (Cl)Onehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08930894185761008708noreply@blogger.com21