Wednesday, March 22, 2006

What the *beep beep*

As the elevator opened Lemur Su bang to speak again.

“We are now 3 mile below what was the surface of Coruscant. I found this long forgotten Jedi training center shortly after I was exiled from Kamino. That was after the Batch 3 problem.” Lemur Su glances quickly at me “Not that I ever thought your lot as a mistake, just more of a boo boo. Nothing that a little work wouldn’t have fixed. But did the elders listen to me! NO! it was “quality control” this and “problems with marketing” that. They never saw your true potential”

Wow, I didn’t even know Kanionians could get ever get this work up about anything.

Lemur Su look at me again and regains composure.

“As I was saying I found these old training grounds, I began to do some research. From what I found here I knew no one had used them in over 2,000 years. Further research at the archives showed no record of this location. It would be perfect. I was able to bring equipment for my cloning experiments," Lemur Su Point,

"build training facilities

and make a pretty nifty evil-villain hide-out. Also it was dark and drab so I put in fake sunlight. Nice, don’t you think?”
I was a little overwhelmed. “but where did you get the fund, time or staff power to do all this in 10 short years?” I asked perplexed

“You mean how did I amass fortune, build this complex and keep it all secrete”

I nod yes.

“Sorry A3-001, that’s special evil-villain leader information. Your not one, so I can’t tell you.”

WTF?!?!?!?! (back to the story)

We approached the training center. The sound of blaster fire inter mingled with the mewing of kittens.

“You can see the training all of the K.I.T.K.A.Ts go though:

basic melee weapons

blaster rifles

advanced martial arts

and finally…”

I call out without thinking “Holy Kamino on a Krutch” *beep beep*

“I see you are surprised by the final Jedi Training we put them through. Darth Luv helped train them in the Jedi way before he was killed.” *beep beep*

“And once they are trained and placed with the powerful thought out the Galaxy I will unleash order 66 and death will befall all who oppose me!!!”

*beep beep*

“But how will the K.I.T.K.A.Ts be put in place? And I think Order 66 is already taken.”

Lemur Su snaps out of the megalomaniacal stupor “We are sending them to all the Senator, Jedi and various powerful being throughout the Galaxy. That dizzy senator from Naboo passed “Republic Adopt a Pet Week” as a *beep beep* piece of B.S. legislation to pad her legislative record. The K.I.T.K.A.Ts will arrive in 2 weeks with a note from the senator. Who could resist a cute kitten from a hot senator? Muhahahahahahahahaha, the plan is fool proof. The only thing that could stop us is…Do you hear a beep beep noise? Because I been hearing it for a while…*beep beep*...There it goes again

I hear the beep of my communicator. I must have turned it on by accident while fidgeting my hands in my pocket.

*beep beep*

Lemur Su glares at me “A3-001, what’s in your pocket?”

I shrug and look for any escape route. *beep beep*


I pull out my hold-out blaster and run as fast as I can.


*beep beep*


JawaJuice said...

Killer Cats from outer space!!!!
And Lemur Su was behind the clone lemurs?!?!? *shakes fist in air* Damn you Darth Wuv!!! Will my past always come back to haunt me??(Yes, I know, I’m a post late) Now they’re breeding an army of killer kittens?
….at least they look cute. Um…can I have one?

Happy Mask Saleswoman said...

Go TK266!
You can do it!
...okay, this is driving me crazy. Don't you have, like, some sorta normal sounding name I can call you? Like Cody and Alpha and Nate, you're just as smart as they are, how come you don't have one too? Or if you do, how come I don't know it?

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

HMS: Anakin calles me Earl, Most call me AOC and freinds call me Tak.

Happy Mask Saleswoman said...

He does think up the most unusual names...

I think I'll call you Tak. But I might slip up and call you Earl. That's ok, right?

Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

I like the name Tak, suits you ;) And remember, all evil leaders have bolt holes to cushy escape vehicles. All you have to do is find that

JawaJuice said...

is it me or does Lemur Su look like a hairless lama?

Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

I was thinking shaved alpaca, but hairless llama works too

JawaJuice said...

No no, not Llama….lama. You know, those….things with the stubby nose and the flipper and….radio controlled projectile missiles….oh, and webbed feet….

Wedge Antillies said...

I just call him enemy. Although for a colne, he's not such a bad guy. *Emperial Lackey Tool!

So, that is why pets are forbidden on military vessels!

Jaina Solo said...

WOW! I feel like I've just have some of JJ's brownies.
I hope Jacen never trains his animal friends in the Jedi arts!

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Oh yeah, evil leaders have the bolt holes, but they usually also have self destuct maechanisms, too. Push a big red button if you find one.