Tuesday, September 04, 2007

"Riding" Betty

I had been station with a small unit on the dessert world of Tattoine. For 30 miles in any direction was nothing but sand and hot and more sand. As were we in the middle of the “Sandstorm” season, most of our vehicles were out of commission.

After about a month, we were assigned a new Republic Officer. He was some poor junior grade who must have pissed off someone up the chain of command to get this assignment.

It was my job to show him around and answer his questions.

So Trooper,” the Officer inquired, “How do you do patrols without vehicles? You can’t go far on foot?”

We have been given a group of Banthas, Sir” I see his confusion; someone didn’t do his home work. “A native animal of large size, which is accustomed to the heat and used by the locals as a primary mode of transportation.”


The Officer nods and we continue the tour of the outpost. Towards the end I see the Officer is trying to work up the nerve to ask a question.

Ummm, Trooper. What about …..errrr…. well …. Companionship?” the officer asks with hesitation.

You mean sex, sir?” I reply

He turns a little red and nods his head.

The Troopers have to take matter in to their own hands, so to speak. But the officer can use Betty.” I explain

Oh, I see the base has a concubine. Very good.” The Officer smiles.

I laugh “No, Sir. Betty is one of the Banthas.”

What?!?!?! …. That’s …. What?. Your dismissed trooper” The officer barks at me, turns and storms off to the officer quarters.

At the end of the officer's first week I am on late night guard duty, when I see the young officer walking across the compound carrying a ladder. He heads into the stable and come out 20 minutes later.

Trooper,” he hails “You know what, that Betty is not half bad. It took a while to figure out how to … well you know, but that is what the ladder was for. I think I might have another go next week.” He gives me a thumbs up.

I look at him askance and say “What you like to do is up to you Sir, but most of the other officers ride Betty into town, go to the cantina and hit on the locals.”


Janet said...

Betty, LOL, that was my mom's name :-)

Hi, Michele sent me.

Dark Jedi Kriss said...

o.O lol!

Fluke Starbucker said...

You should have given him Bibble's number

Trunks said...

Um Eeeew!

November Rain said...

LOL not only did I spray the computer and laugh so hard I fell out of my chair but the hubby came to read why and started laughing as well

He says 5 star and two thumbs up

this is a great post AOC

Master Obi-Wan said...

What is the matter with these kids, don't they know anything any more?

And that is just very wrong but incredibly funny.

Master Adana said...

Ewwwww, that is just....gross.

I fell out of my chair as well laughing hard.

Skywalker said...


Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Looks like you need more saltpeter in the rations.

Kon-El said...

Jeez ! Bwhahahahahaha!

Black Widow said...


I am shocked (AOC can you pick me up some after all it is better than diamonds when your a female spy ;))

Danny Bailey said...

well one thing is for sure he isnt Dray

Jawa Juice said...


If he liked Betty so much, maybe he should be introduced to Yoda's Bob the bantha?

"Common baby! Pickle!
Pickle, baby, PICKLE!"

fantastic post by the way...

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Lets just say that the young officer didn't ever live it down. his nickname bacame BB, short for Bantha Bumper.

Jawa Juice said...


The LIght!!!! The Light!!!!

Boy,this blog is bright.

Fluke Starbucker said...


Flik Sivrak said...


November Rain said...

really nice redo

I take it you are using the layout?

It looks really great save one thing

(you for to list: Shake your hi-ni with Novy :P:P:P)

okay maybe not

Justice said...

I like the new look

Master Adana said...

Great new look and I feel bad for the young officer - sort of

Master Obi-Wan said...

Great job on the remake.

Don't feel bad for him, it's his own fault he doesn't knwo the difference between a woman and a Bantha.