I was stationed on the Wookie home world of Kashyyyk. The place is a jungle and the Wookie live in grass and wood home built high in the trees.
WATCH OUT FOR WOOKIE DROPPINGS
In the area I was patrolling there were several Wookie clans that have been fighting each other. One of their customs when they beat another tribe was to take the most prized possession of the enemy's chief.
After a particularly fierce fight a rich clan was defeated. The cheif of the defeated clan had a prized solid gold throne.
LOOKS MORE LIKE AN EWOK THROWN
The winning clan took the throne, and put it in the loft in their chief’s house. Unfortunately, the throne was much too heavy to be kept in a home build of grass and wood, and it fell right through the platform, falling 250 feet onto the chief, killing him instantly.
My squad was called into the Wookie’s village to check out the problem and make an assessment.
MAKING MY REPORT
After reviewing all the facts I called my commander and told him the bottom line was people who live in Grass Houses shouldn't stow thrones