Friday, August 10, 2007

New Regulations and more of why I hate Pilots.

New Training Standards for the Grand Army of the Republic and the Republic Navy.

Coruscant - (CNN) In an effort to ensure proper training and readiness among the military services, Congress has approved the following changes to basic principles of recruit training:

HAIRCUTS:
Clone Troopers-heads will be shaved.
Corellian Marines-f lat-tops for all recruits.
Republic Navy- no haircut standard.
Republic Pilots-complete makeovers as seen on the Jenny Jones show.

TRAINING HOURS:
Clone Troopers-rise at 0500, train until 2000.
Corellian Marines-rise at 0600, train until 1900.
Republic Navy-rise at 0900, train until 1100, lunch til 1300, train till 1600.
Republic Pilots-rise at 1000, breakfast in bed, lunch at 1200, nap at 1400, and training ceases at 1500.

MEALS:
Clone Troopers-Meals-Ready-to-Eat 3 times a day.
Corellian Marines-one hot meal, 2 MRE's.
Republic Navy-3 hot meals.
Republic Pilots-catered meals prepared by the Galloping Gourmet, Julia Childs, and Wolfgang Puck. All you can eat.

LEAVE and LIBERTY:
Clone Troopers-none.
Corellian Marines-4 hours a week.
Republic Navy-2 days a week.
Republic Pilots-for every four hours of training, recruits will receive eight hours of leave and liberty.

PROTOCOL:
Clone Troopers-will address all officers as "Sir" and refer to the rank of all enlisted members when speaking to them (i.e. Sgt Smith).
Corellian Marines-will address all officers as "Sir", unless they are friends, and will call all enlisted personnel Sarge.
Republic Navy-will address all officers as Skipper, and all enlisted personnel as Chief.
Republic Pilots-all Republic Pilots personnel shall be on a first name basis with all other personnel.

DECORATIONS/AWARDS:
Clone Troopers-medals and badges are awarded for acts of gallantry and bravery.
Corellian Marines-medals and badges are awarded for every Laser fired, hand thermal detonator thrown, fitness test passed, and bed made.
Republic Navy-will have ships engineers make medals for them as needed.
Republic Pilots-will be issued all medals as they will most likely be awarded them at some point early in their careers.

CAMOUFLAGE UNIFORMS:
Clone Troopers-work uniform, to be worn only during training and in field situations. (except in condition where wearing White Armor make you stand out more)
Corellian Marines-will wear it anytime, anywhere.
Republic Navy-will not wear cammies, they do not camouflage you on a ship. Captains will make every effort to TRY to explain this to our officers.
Republic Pilots-will defeat the purpose of camouflage by putting blue and grey service chevrons and name tapes on them.

CAREER FIELDS:
Clone Troopers-all Clone Troopers shall be considered riflemen first and foremost.
Corellian Marines-doesn't matter, all career fields promote to E-8 in first enlistment.
Republic Navy-nobody knows. Republic Navy still trying figure out what all the SMC, BNC, BSN, and all the other ratings things are.
Republic Pilots-every recruit will be trained in a manner that will allow them to leave the service early to go on to higher paying civilian jobs.

61 comments:

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

This bares a bit of a resemblance to what I've seen in the Earth forces of the United States Military.

I used to joke that the best way to get promoted in my MOS was to get a new MOS.

Optimus Prime said...

I am Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots and maybe I should try some of these standards on my own troops. Dicipline has become awfully slack on some of them.

Spider-man said...

Isn't that just how things seem to go? And pilots get to sit down through battles, too, they NEVER have to run!

Jawa Juice said...

Hmmm....
Such hard decisions…
And all four seem very tempting.
Which one will I have…?

I think...

...I’ll take...


...The Rooty tooty fresh and fruity.


...what?

Weren’t we discussing breakfast?

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

* doing the happy dance* JJ stopped by, did you see that JJ stopped by *continues the happy dance*

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Aw JJ always stops by your place.

*kicks a rock*

jin said...

Awww...poor poor Clone Troopers!!!
*tears*

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