I was caught AWOL as I tried to sneak on board my ship at about 3 am. The chief petty officer spied me and ordered me to stop.
Upon hearing my lame explanation for my tardiness, the officer yelled at me, "Take this broom and sweep every com-link on this ship by morning or it's the brig for you! It better be clean before we head into space"
I began to pick up the broom and commence performing his charge. As I began to sweep, a tern landed on the broom handle.
I yelled at the bird to leave, but it didn't. I picked the tern off the broom handle, and tossed it out of the hatch. The bird left, only to return and light once again on the broom handle, and was once again tossed out the hatch.
All night long I went through the same routine all over again, with the same result. I couldn't get any cleaning done because he can only sweep at the com-link once or twice before the blasted bird returns.
A Tern For the Worst
When morning came, so did the chief petty officer, to check up on me.
"What in the heck have you been doing all night? This Com-links are no cleaner than when you started! What have you to say for yourself, Trooper?" barked the chief.
"Honest, chief," I reply, "I tossed a tern all night and couldn't sweep a link!"