Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Back To "Normal" Duty

I was in Senator Aak Ask’s office on ceremonial guard duty, when his chief of staff, Rak Riice, came in for a meeting.
_________________________

Senator Ask Ask
Senator Aak Ask

Aak Ask: Rak Riice! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Rak Riice: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of
Hapes.
Aak Ask: Great. Lay it on me.
Rak Riice:
Hu is the new leader of Hapes.
Aak Ask: That's what I want to know.
Rak Riice:
That's what I'm telling you.
Aak Ask: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of Hapes?
Rak Riice:
Yes.
Aak Ask:
I mean the fellow's name.
Rak Riice:
Hu.
Aak Ask: The guy in Hapes.
Rak Riice: Hu.
Aak Ask: The new leader of Hapes.
Rak Riice:
Hu.
Aak Ask: The Hapesman!
Rak Riice:
Hu is leading Hapes.
Aak Ask: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Rak Riice:
I'm telling you Hu is leading Hapes.
Aak Ask:
Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading Hapes?
Rak Riice: That's the man's name.
Aak Ask:
That's who's name?
Rak Riice:
Yes.
Aak Ask: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of Hapes?
Rak Riice: Yes, sir.
Aak Ask: Yassir? Yassir The Hutt is in Hapes? I thought he was from the
Nal Hutta.
Rak Riice: That's correct.

Aak
RAK RIICE: EXACERBATED


Aak Ask: Then who is in Hapes?
Rak Riice:
Yes, sir.
Aak Ask: Yassir is in Hapes?
Rak Riice:
No, sir.
Aak Ask:
Then who is?
Rak Riice:
Yes, sir.
Aak Ask:
Yassir?
Rak Riice: No, sir.
Aak Ask:
Look, Rak Riice. I need to know the name of the new leader of Hapes. Get me the Secretary General of the Senate on the phone.
Rak Riice:
Kofi?
Aak Ask:
No, thanks.
Rak Riice:
You want Kofi?
Aak Ask: No.
Rak Riice:
You don't want Kofi.
Aak Ask:
No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the Senate.
Rak Riice:
Yes, sir.
Aak Ask: Not Yassir! The guy at the Senate.
Rak Riice:
Kofi?
Aak Ask:
Milk! Will you please make the call?
Rak Riice:
And call who?
Aak Ask:
Who is the guy at the Senate?
Rak Riice: Hu is the guy in Hapes.
Aak Ask: Will you stay out of Hapes?!
Rak Riice: Yes, sir.
Aak Ask:
And stay out of the Nal Hutta! Just get me the guy at the Senate.
Rak Riice:
Kofi.
Aak Ask:
All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the comlink.
(Rak Riice picks up the comlink.)
Rak Riice:
Riice, here.
Aak Ask: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in Hapes. And the Nal Hutta. Can you get Hapes food in the Nal Hutta?

*******************
Now my head hurts. And we wonder why the Republic is faltering.

*with apologies to Abbot and Costello


21 comments:

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Maybe we could stick those egg roles in Aak Ask's mouth and he'll be quiet for a little while.

Local Henchmen 432 said...

Well Done.

Dark Jedi Kriss said...

He just creeps me out.

Skywalker said...

New name Bla Bla.

Master Obi-Wan said...

How can anyone listen to this and stay remotely sane?

Well done, indeed.

Kristi Mantoni said...

That's a classic!!!

Darth Nepharia said...

That was classic....or it will be :D

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

AOC: What's a Classic.

Ask Aak: No, he is second base.

AOC: Now don't start that again>

greenshady said...

That was too funny! I'm glad I got a chance to stop by here and read it. I'm here from Michele's!

Merlyn Gabriel said...

*laughs*

Okay that was a fun way to start my day!!!

Thanks once again for a good giggle!

Dino aka Katy said...

i saw you over at jins and decided to explore - i was laughing so loud at this post priceless - i will need to go and read your archives now.

Judy said...

Happy Friday from Michele's. Loved the Abbott and Costella rip-off. Good job. I'll have to check out the rest of your site now (and just when I was trying to get my bloghopping under control. Is there a 12-step program from blogaholics????)

Moogie said...

LOL! Well done!

Mr. Althouse said...

Abbot and Costello are rolling in their graves. Rolling on the floor laughing their asses off!

Michele sent me,

Mike

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Dino aka Katy: I have enjoyed you humorous comments over on Jins site also. The best man at my wedding was named Dino

Judy: I think there is, but when you get to the 5th step you have to apologize for all the bad bloging you have done. And I don’t have enough time in my day for that :)

Becky68 said...

I saw a similar rant once in a music magazine on the guess who & the who, very funny!
Thanks for stopping by my blog earlier.

Kid Flash said...

Maybe you guys should convince the republic to give free Communication Lessons to everyone.
Kofi with cream and two sugars?
Maybe Northstar and him can hook up sometime.

Carmi said...

Damn, your writing is so much fun to follow!

Florence said...

A modern retelling of a great joke :D

Gotta love this clone ;)

xx

cooltopten said...

hehe very good :)

Lauphen Staar said...

LMAO!! You had me spitting my pop all over the screen!