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Senator Aak Ask
Aak Ask: Rak Riice! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Rak Riice: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of Hapes.
Aak Ask: Great. Lay it on me.
Rak Riice: Hu is the new leader of Hapes.
Aak Ask: That's what I want to know.
Rak Riice: That's what I'm telling you.
Aak Ask: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of Hapes?
Rak Riice: Yes.
Aak Ask: I mean the fellow's name.
Rak Riice: Hu.
Aak Ask: The guy in Hapes.
Rak Riice: Hu.
Aak Ask: The new leader of Hapes.
Rak Riice: Hu.
Aak Ask: The Hapesman!
Rak Riice: Hu is leading Hapes.
Aak Ask: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Rak Riice: I'm telling you Hu is leading Hapes.
Aak Ask: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading Hapes?
Rak Riice: That's the man's name.
Aak Ask: That's who's name?
Rak Riice: Yes.
Aak Ask: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of Hapes?
Rak Riice: Yes, sir.
Aak Ask: Yassir? Yassir The Hutt is in Hapes? I thought he was from the Nal Hutta.
Rak Riice: That's correct.
Aak Ask: Then who is in Hapes?
Rak Riice: Yes, sir.
Aak Ask: Yassir is in Hapes?
Rak Riice: No, sir.
Aak Ask: Then who is?
Rak Riice: Yes, sir.
Aak Ask: Yassir?
Rak Riice: No, sir.
Aak Ask: Look, Rak Riice. I need to know the name of the new leader of Hapes. Get me the Secretary General of the Senate on the phone.
Rak Riice: Kofi?
Aak Ask: No, thanks.
Rak Riice: You want Kofi?
Aak Ask: No.
Rak Riice: You don't want Kofi.
Aak Ask: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the Senate.
Rak Riice: Yes, sir.
Aak Ask: Not Yassir! The guy at the Senate.
Rak Riice: Kofi?
Aak Ask: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Rak Riice: And call who?
Aak Ask: Who is the guy at the Senate?
Rak Riice: Hu is the guy in Hapes.
Aak Ask: Will you stay out of Hapes?!
Rak Riice: Yes, sir.
Aak Ask: And stay out of the Nal Hutta! Just get me the guy at the Senate.
Rak Riice: Kofi.
Aak Ask: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the comlink.
(Rak Riice picks up the comlink.)
Rak Riice: Riice, here.
Aak Ask: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in Hapes. And the Nal Hutta. Can you get Hapes food in the Nal Hutta?
Now my head hurts. And we wonder why the Republic is faltering.
*with apologies to Abbot and Costello