Lost

On a mission to Tatooine to help break up a Sand People rebellion, TD 199 and I got separated from the other troopers.

We ended up being lost for days without food and were getting weaker by the day.

As we stumble on, hoping for salvation in the form of an oasis or something similar, we suddenly spy, through the heat haze, a small tree off in the distance.

As we get closer, we could see that the tree is draped with rasher upon rasher of bacon. There's smoked bacon, crispy bacon, life-giving juicy nearly-raw bacon, all sorts. And the smell... oh, the glorious smell!"

"Look, TD 199," I say. "It's a bacon tree!"

"You're right!" says TD 199, "We're saved!"

TD 199 didn’t wait another second. He ran up to the tree salivating at the prospect of food. But just as he gets to within five feet of the tree, there's the sound of Tusken Raider’s gun fire, and he is shot down in a hail of bullets.

I quickly drops down on the sand, and calls across to the dying TD 199. "TD 199!! What in the name of the Force happened?"

And with his dying breath TD 199 calls back: "Ugh, run, run!! It's not a Bacon Tree after all..."



"...its a ham bush!"