Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Lost

On a mission to Tatooine to help break up a Sand People rebellion, TD 199 and I got separated from the other troopers.

We ended up being lost for days without food and were getting weaker by the day.

As we stumble on, hoping for salvation in the form of an oasis or something similar, we suddenly spy, through the heat haze, a small tree off in the distance.

As we get closer, we could see that the tree is draped with rasher upon rasher of bacon. There's smoked bacon, crispy bacon, life-giving juicy nearly-raw bacon, all sorts. And the smell... oh, the glorious smell!"

"Look, TD 199," I say. "It's a bacon tree!"

"You're right!" says TD 199, "We're saved!"

TD 199 didn’t wait another second. He ran up to the tree salivating at the prospect of food. But just as he gets to within five feet of the tree, there's the sound of Tusken Raider’s gun fire, and he is shot down in a hail of bullets.

I quickly drops down on the sand, and calls across to the dying TD 199. "TD 199!! What in the name of the Force happened?"

And with his dying breath TD 199 calls back: "Ugh, run, run!! It's not a Bacon Tree after all..."



"...its a ham bush!"

14 comments:

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

*Grabs guns*

Cover me, I'm going in, and I ain't coming out without my cargo pockets full of delicious, honey baked hams.

Erifia Apoc said...

I hate that more than anything.

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Jon: it will go well with that Potato in your pocket

Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

it's a ham bush

must resist making bad ham puns

Local Henchmen 432 said...

OOOooooo boy...M.O.D.O.K. invented the dreaded "HAM BUSH".Dental for all.

Dr.Polaris rules.

Professor Xavier said...

Hmm, I have a funny feeling that might have been a trap.

All I can say is that while you're lost, avoid going down into any hatches. They're only trouble.

Dark Jedi Kriss said...

Oh the the jokes I could make!

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Dark Jedi Kris: so make them :)

Vampirella said...

snickers...

AOC your just such a ham

Wedge Antillies said...

LOL! I am chuckle so sorry... guffaw about your friend snork getting shot.

That's the great things about puns, is the worse they are the funnier they seem to be.

flu said...

*groan*

Jabafatboy said...

Always Hammin It Up, Though the story line was a bit salty.

Maybe the next on will be Kosher

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

All I can say is that this story might have been hogwash, but it certainly wasn't boaring.

Dara said...

Shall I tell you about the delightful soup I tasted tonight? Pumpkin and butternut squash soup with creme fraiche and BACON - yum yum!

Michele sent me.