Special New Report from the Faux New Network.
The Faux News Network had recently heard rumors that Senator Padme Amidala hates poor people. While on a recent campaign trip to Tatooine, Senator Amidala stopped to eat a local diner and stiffed the waitress.
AT A DINER ON TATOOINE
Even though other networks are reporting that this is all misunderstandings, we here at Faux News have chose to ignore the fact and run with a little personal destruction.
During an interview with the waitress, Molly Nice, stated that she did not receive a tip from the Senator.
TAKING ORDERS, BUT NOT TIPS
When asked if she thought not getting a tip was proof that Senator Amidala was the greatest evil in the universe and a threat to everything we hold dear in the Republic, she replied, “No, I think she just forgot. She is a nice lady and I would vote for her.”
It is obvious that not getting a tip from Senator Amidala has crushed this poor woman soul and reason for living.
WORST PHOTOSHOP …. EVER
Local Representative to the Republic, Jawa Keysinitch, stated “This just show why we need universal health care. Did you just see that UFO? What we need to do is negotiate with Count Dooku and come to a peaceable solution. And furthermore my wife is hot!”
When reached for a comment Senator Amidala stated she had given a tip. “I told Miss Nice that her hairstyle had to go and gave her the name of my hairstylist. Duh, that the best tip of all.’
SHE DOES HAVE GREAT HAIR.
Faux New also contacted Master Yoda who responded by saying, “Nothing better you have to report? More important news, there isn’t? Balanced and Fair, is this? Why I watch the news not, is your fault.”