Little Green Wisdom

I had been assigned to General Yoda before large battle.


“WHY BOTHERING ME, ARE YOU TROOPER?”

He was meditating before thing got under way and he let out a long sigh.

“General Yoda, what do you thing of the coming battle? What did you meditation tell you?” I asked

“Hard to see the future is. But lost this battle will be.” Yoda says sagely

“If the battle lost, then why should we should we fight it?” I reply

Yoda looks at me and fires up his light saber. “To find out who is the loser!”


COME ON MOFO, GET SOME

Super-Villain: taking over evil

Happening Now on Who Wants To Be A Super Villain

We had been going over different plans to take over an evil empire for the past two days, living on nothing but takeout and Starbucks coffee (note to self: do not let 11 year old evil girl scouts have a triple Carmel maccacitos.)

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Happy Thanksgiving

I'll be off to the Homeworld to have Thanksgiving dinner with the family and the in-laws. Happy Thanksgiving to you all.





(all three of you LOL)

Super-Villain: Looking for Housing

Happing Now on Who Wants To Be a Super-Villain
*****************************************************

Gabby thinks we should be out of the way on an Island. But Samantha worried about unruly lava flows and a lack of selling locations for cookies. I was worried about jedi fighting it out around the lair.


Run! Run from the Frosting slide


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Let Me Give You A Little Tip...

Special New Report from the Faux New Network.

The Faux News Network had recently heard rumors that Senator Padme Amidala hates poor people. While on a recent campaign trip to Tatooine, Senator Amidala stopped to eat a local diner and stiffed the waitress.


AT A DINER ON TATOOINE

Even though other networks are reporting that this is all misunderstandings, we here at Faux News have chose to ignore the fact and run with a little personal destruction.

During an interview with the waitress, Molly Nice, stated that she did not receive a tip from the Senator.


TAKING ORDERS, BUT NOT TIPS

When asked if she thought not getting a tip was proof that Senator Amidala was the greatest evil in the universe and a threat to everything we hold dear in the Republic, she replied, “No, I think she just forgot. She is a nice lady and I would vote for her.”

It is obvious that not getting a tip from Senator Amidala has crushed this poor woman soul and reason for living.


WORST PHOTOSHOP …. EVER

Local Representative to the Republic, Jawa Keysinitch, stated “This just show why we need universal health care. Did you just see that UFO? What we need to do is negotiate with Count Dooku and come to a peaceable solution. And furthermore my wife is hot!”

When reached for a comment Senator Amidala stated she had given a tip. “I told Miss Nice that her hairstyle had to go and gave her the name of my hairstylist. Duh, that the best tip of all.’


SHE DOES HAVE GREAT HAIR.

Faux New also contacted Master Yoda who responded by saying, “Nothing better you have to report? More important news, there isn’t? Balanced and Fair, is this? Why I watch the news not, is your fault.”

Tak's Caption Contest V 2.7

It is once again time for Tak's Caption Contest.

It is easy to play . Just put your funniest/lamest/profoundest caption on the picture.




I knew I could get around that writers strike!!

Who Want to be a Supervillain: Robbing a bank

Happing now on Who Wants To Be A Super-Villain

“Well OK then. Let get to the plan.” I say “Gabby, you and the gezzer patrol will set up in the park and do a civil war re-enactment show for the town folks. You be playing the part of the Connecticut 3rd Regiment Infantry….”

“Weren’t they out of New Haven?” Gabby asks “Is Star Hollow even near New Haven.”

“Ok, Gabby you guys can be the Connecticut 6th Regiment Infantry ….”

“But they were out of Hartford. Are we anywhere near Hartford?” Gabby asks again.
*********

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Strike that ...

It was a quiet day on patrol, so my squad decided to drop into the local Cantina to see if we could track down some rebel scum.

As we walked in to the place we see a Jedi, a Senator and a Wookie staring at us.


A LIZARD, A FUZZBALL AND COUSIN IT WALK IN TO A BAR …

“Tak, what are you doing?” whispers Master Yoda

“Uh, telling an amusing anecdote. Why are you interrupting me?” I ask

“So, the memo you did not get?” Yoda inquires


STOP, YOU MUST!

“No. No memo this morning. What did I forget to wash your speeder? I am sure I did that yesterday.” I reply

“Out the window, you must look. There, your future, will you see.” The green Jedi intones

I look out the window.


COULDN’T THEY HAVE WRITTEN BETTER SIGNS?

I look at Master Yoda with confusion.

“The writers have struck and so must you.” Yoda states.

“That doesn’t affect me. I am not a writer. Have you been reading the crap I put up here?” I start

Master Yoda looks at me, “Yes, crap it is. But better than most stuff on The CW. And get me started not on the fall line up on ABC. No, Stop you must. Re-runs and reality shows are all you can do. Go now.” He waves me out of the Cantina.

So here are some re-runs and a link to a reality show.

Tak’s Caption Contest

What I have learned being a Trooper

WHO WANT TO BE A SUPER-VILLAIN

More on crappy jobs

On one of the junk hole planets we liberated, I was assigned with two oath troopers the task of presenting the news on a planet wide board cast. Each trooper was assigned a “real” name to make the population connect better with us. I, TK 266 was called Terry, MD 598 was called Matthew and RT 111 was called Rudolf.


TK 266, Terry


RT 111, Rudolf


MD 598, Matthew

At the news station, a husband and wife team from Coruscant were told to figure out which of use would do the different jobs: Newscaster, Sports reporter and Weather Guy.

After banter it about for a while and testing all three of us out. The Wife decides that I should be the Sport reporter, Matthew should be the Newscaster and Rudolf should be the Weather Guy.

“Are you sure?” asked the husband.

“Not so much about the news caster and the sports reporter, but after that interview I am sure about the weather guy>” She replied

“The red one? Why?” Asked the Husband.

“Because” the wife beamed, “Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear."

Who Want to be a Supervillain: Looking for help

This week I have to get some henchmen:

Help Wanted: Looking for motivated and skilled associates for less then lawful enterprise. Duties may include all sort of bad things. Good waged, Health care and Dental for all. Please apply in person on Friday at Villain Park near the Koma Center.



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