Friday, December 01, 2006

Clones, Windu and A Problem

When working the Com-Stat desk on a late night detail I received a strange message. It was a memo from Kamino discussing a problem they were having with a clone. It seems the Jedi Council was attempting to a Jedi to help keep peace in the Republic. I made a copy of the memo before passing it along to the Jedi Temple.


To: Jedi Council
From: Lama Su and Bilee Geight

Subject: Jedi Clone Experiment

This memo is to inform you that we have had many set-backs in the Jedi Clone Experiment. Bilee Geight, the project coordinator, thinks the problem is due to the Mediclorians in the sample you sent. Or it may just be the genetic sample from Master Windu just will not work.

We have made thousands of attempts to prefect to process. Here are some examples of the issues we have faced.

Windu 95: Our first viable clone didn’t come about until the 95th try. It to work well, but kept shutting down if it had to do more than one task at a time. It did not work well with any other clones. Plus it looks wrong.

windu 95

Windu 98: Close on the heels our first success; we thought we had worked out many of the bugs. But we found this model had major problems when it was allowed to use the Holo-Net. It would get sick with viruses very quickly.

windu 98

Windu 2000: After a lot of work we again thought we had perfected the Jedi clone, but as you can see it was old and outdated before it even started to work. And it still had many of the same problems as Windu 95 and Windu 98.

Windu 2000
WINDU 2000

Windu XP: We gave up on a number system after Windu 2000. Windu XP (eXtra Powerful) overcame all the problem of the previous viable clones. At first it looks like all our problems were solved, but Windu XP began to hog all the resources in the training facility. After we had it working, we found that this model of clone needed constant upgrading to keep it working.

windu xp

We are therefore requesting that we can discontinue the Windu Project. In looking over the files of Jedi, it is believed we can get a viable Jedi clone from one of the following member of the order: Master Ma Kin Tosh, Jedi Knight Link Uss or Padawan Vista Beta.

P.S. Bilee Geight is still pushing for further use of the Windus, but please don’t listen to him.


Merlyn Gabriel said...

Oh my... you make my days with these posts. It is so good to know that someone out there has an even more warped sense of humour than I do.

cheers and thanks!

Master Obi-Wan said...

I can't help it. I have to laugh...

Skywalker said...

Windu 2000.... *snort* Full of bugs, locks up and crashes!

Dark Jedi Kriss said...

Darth Gates would be proud. LMAO!

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Man, you shold have seen WinduMe. Now that was a buggy clone.

Clonecopy said...

Well at least they haven't figured out how to make another Jedi yet. If they did it would be the end of us non-jedi clones.

turboslut said...

That was a fantastic post. I loved it. Things make much more sense now.

Gyrobo said...

It is funny, because you use wordplay to combine poorly built clones with a series of operating systems that were likewise buggy!


I like to ruin jokes by pointing out their construction. But this last paragraph, explaining why I did it, makes it okay. I'm a genius.

Florence said...

lol! Now there's an analogy I would never have thought of.

excellent as always :)


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