Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Womp Rats, Jawas and Spies Oh My

I was on patrol on Tattoine, when I saw a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style Mud Hut:

Talking Womp Rat for Sale

I hop out of my rig, bang on the door and a Jawa appears and tells me the Womp Rat is in the back. I go into the back and see a ugly looking Womp Rat sitting there.

womprat
BUT CAN HE CONVERSE OR IS HE JUST A LIMBAUGH

"You talk?" I asks.

"Yep," the Womp Rat replies.

After I recover from the shock of hearing a Womp Rat talk, I ask "So, what's your story?"

The Womp Rat looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the Chancellor and he had me sworn into the toughest branch of the armed services ... The Grand Army of The Republic... You know one of their nicknames is "The Devil Rats."

In no time at all they had me jetting from planet to planet, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders; because no one figured a Womp Rat would be eavesdropping.

I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running, but the jetting around really tired me out and I knew I wasn't getting any younger.

So, I decided to settle down. I retired from the G.A.R (8 Womp Rat years is 56 G.A.R years) and signed up for a job at the spaceport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in."

"I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a litter of baby Womps, and now I'm just retired."

I was amazed. I go back in and ask the Jawa what he wants for the Womp Rat.

"Ten Credits," the Jawa says.

"Ten Credits? This Rat is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"Because he's a liar! He never did any of that crap. He was in the Republic Navy!"

41 comments:

SHI said...

a lying womp rat still worth 10 credits I suppose

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

I can't believe that he lied to you like that. After you went out on a limb and trusted him like that. I bet this really leaves you sour on womp rats, huh?

Professor Xavier said...

Typical. Those beedy eyes should have been a give-away.

Jawa Juice said...

I told you you should just let sleazy rats lie.

captain koma said...

Womp Rat
Is life getting you down?
I said Womp Rat
pick yourself off the ground.
I said Womp Rat
'cause you're in a new town
There's no need to be unhappy.

Womp Rat
there's a place you can go.
I said, Womp Rat
when you're short on your dough.
You can stay there,
and I'm sure you will find
Many ways to have a good time.

It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.
It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.

Oh CARP!

I meant to do "In the Navy"

ugh!

Fluke Starbucker said...

well done, Koma.

Sounds like the womp rat doesn't even have the self worth of ten credits.

He should be paying you just for listening.

Anonymous said...

how is this Koma

Don't you see we can't do combats
In the navy
Come on, protect our dessert rats
In the navy
Come on and fight the clone cats
In the navy
Come on GAR, and make more vats
In the navy, in the navy, in the navy (in the navy)

They want you, they want you
They want you as a new recruit

If you like it easy
and fighting makes you queazy
fins a recruiting office fast
Don't you hesitate
There is no need to wait
They're signing up new Womps fast
Just learn how to lie
no need to die
That is what these clones are for
we can always make some more
Glory to the navy
relaxing on land and sea

In the navy
Yes, you can sail the seven seas
In the navy
Yes, you can put your mind at ease
In the navy
Come on now Womps, watch the clones die
In the navy, in the navy
you can tell a simple lie
In the navy
the clones acted out your story
In the navy
Come on, why not take all the glory

In the navy, in the navy, in the navy (in the navy)

They want you, they want you
They want you as a new recruit

Who me?

They want you, they want you
They want you as a new recruit

But, but, but I'm afraid of the Empire.
Hey, hey look
Man, I hear Clones are Dray!

They want you, they want you in the navy

Oh my goodness.
What am I gonna do with a Bantha?

They want you, they want you in the navy

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Hot Stuff Song Rocks!!!!

Dak-Ind said...

HAHAHAHAHA!

Anonymous said...

Do You interesting how to [b]Buy Viagra per pill[/b]? You can find below...
[size=10]>>>[url=http://listita.info/go.php?sid=1][b]Buy Viagra per pill[/b][/url]<<<[/size]

[URL=http://imgwebsearch.com/30269/link/viagra%2C%20tramadol%2C%20zithromax%2C%20carisoprodol%2C%20buy%20cialis/1_valentine3.html][IMG]http://imgwebsearch.com/30269/img0/viagra%2C%20tramadol%2C%20zithromax%2C%20carisoprodol%2C%20buy%20cialis/1_valentine3.png[/IMG][/URL]
[URL=http://imgwebsearch.com/30269/link/buy%20viagra/3_headsex1.html][IMG]http://imgwebsearch.com/30269/img0/buy%20viagra/3_headsex1.png[/IMG][/URL]
[b]Bonus Policy[/b]
Order 3 or more products and get free Regular Airmail shipping!
Free Regular Airmail shipping for orders starting with $200.00!

Free insurance (guaranteed reshipment if delivery failed) for orders starting with $300.00!
[b]Description[/b]

Generic Viagra (sildenafil citrate; brand names include: Aphrodil / Edegra / Erasmo / Penegra / Revatio / Supra / Zwagra) is an effective treatment for erectile dysfunction regardless of the cause or duration of the problem or the age of the patient.
Sildenafil Citrate is the active ingredient used to treat erectile dysfunction (impotence) in men. It can help men who have erectile dysfunction get and sustain an erection when they are sexually excited.
Generic Viagra is manufactured in accordance with World Health Organization standards and guidelines (WHO-GMP). Also you can find on our sites.
Generic [url=http://viagra.gertantis.ru]legal buy viagra online[/url] is made with thorough reverse engineering for the sildenafil citrate molecule - a totally different process of making sildenafil and its reaction. That is why it takes effect in 15 minutes compared to other drugs which take 30-40 minutes to take effect.
[b]viagra canada samples
Viagra Cialis Review
viagra cheap india pharmacy
search viagra find edinburgh pages
Viagra Banja Luka
alternate viagra
Viagra Markt
[/b]
Even in the most sexually liberated and self-satisfied of nations, many people still yearn to burn more, to feel ready for bedding no matter what the clock says and to desire their partner of 23 years as much as they did when their love was brand new.
The market is saturated with books on how to revive a flagging libido or spice up monotonous sex, and sex therapists say “lack of desire” is one of the most common complaints they hear from patients, particularly women.
[url=http://forum.distanceridning.dk/viewtopic.php?t=3033]Buy Viagra per pill[/url]

buy viagra said...

hello, I love the information in this blog about "Womp Rats, Jawas and Spies Oh My", I wonder if there are updates to this post, thanks!

Anonymous said...

viagra cost generic viagra reviews canada - cheap drugs viagra

Anonymous said...

generic viagra online can order viagra online us - buy viagra zurich

Anonymous said...

buy soma soma muscle relaxer medication - 350 mg carisoprodol generic soma

Anonymous said...

buy soma online ver argento soma online - soma muscle relaxant dosage

Anonymous said...

buy soma methocarbamol generic soma - soma 350 mg drug interactions

Anonymous said...

dating guns by serial number http://loveepicentre.com/articles.php friendship websites only no dating

Anonymous said...

ebook store epub http://audiobookscollection.co.uk/it/The-Aeneid/p228180/ index of book ebook apress [url=http://audiobookscollection.co.uk/Photoshop-CS5-Restoration-and-Retouching-For-Digital-Photographers-Only/p224006/]rolex report ebook[/url] perfect outside ebook

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol tablets where to buy tramadol online - tramadol schedule

Anonymous said...

purpose of clomid | http://clomiddiscount.webs.com/#63819 - clomid price cvs, ttc clomid

Anonymous said...

can clomid delay your period | 50 mg clomid - buy clomid without prescription, clomid multiple birth

Anonymous said...

after taking clomid when can i test for pregnancy | [url=http://ordergenericclomid.webs.com/#66763]clomid medication[/url] - clomid 100mg, qkyv clomid male infertility

Anonymous said...

preparing effective business plan ebook http://audiobooksworld.co.uk/fr/Mysterie-Thrillers/c1044/?page=3 free csvpn ebook [url=http://audiobooksworld.co.uk/Melody-Rose/m86399/]christian write ebook ministry[/url] ebook anodizing aluminum
[url=http://audiobooksworld.co.uk/Joe-Zobkiw/m62474/][img]http://audiobooksworld.co.uk/image/2.gif[/img][/url]

Anonymous said...

xanax online xanax high liver enzymes - xanax bars cost street

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol with mastercard tramadol addiction 2012 - buy tramadol no prescription free shipping

Anonymous said...

buy cialis online cialis 0.5 - cialis online in usa

Anonymous said...

tadalafil tablets cialis free coupon - brand cialis online

Anonymous said...

cialis online buy cialis brisbane - generic cialis ervaringen

Anonymous said...

order cialis online no prescription buy cialis vegas - cialis price canadian pharmacy

Anonymous said...

xanax online xanax street price - xanax zanny

Anonymous said...

cialis online generic cialis united pharmacy - cialis 2.5

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol take tramadol 50 mg get high - what does a generic tramadol look like

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online tramadol vs hydrocodone addiction - tramadol hcl 50 mg street price

Anonymous said...

http://landvoicelearning.com/#23561 tramadol discount coupons - ultram tramadol hydrochloride 50mg

Anonymous said...

http://landvoicelearning.com/#97734 tramadol hcl controlled substance - tramadol ev 100 mg tablets

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol cod next day delivery cheap tramadol sale - buy tramadol legally online

Anonymous said...

learn how to buy tramdadol tramadol withdrawal pregnancy - treatment of tramadol overdose

Anonymous said...

http://landvoicelearning.com/#97734 tramadol hcl compared to vicodin - tramadol addiction buprenorphine

Anonymous said...

buy klonopin online klonopin withdrawal melatonin - klonopin withdrawal webmd

Anonymous said...

buy klonopin online klonopin dosage for gad - klonopin for anxiety side effects

Anonymous said...

carisoprodol 350 mg carisoprodol no prescription needed - carisoprodol soma same