I was on patrol on Tattoine, when I saw a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style Mud Hut:
Talking Womp Rat for Sale
I hop out of my rig, bang on the door and a Jawa appears and tells me the Womp Rat is in the back. I go into the back and see a ugly looking Womp Rat sitting there.
BUT CAN HE CONVERSE OR IS HE JUST A LIMBAUGH
"You talk?" I asks.
"Yep," the Womp Rat replies.
After I recover from the shock of hearing a Womp Rat talk, I ask "So, what's your story?"
The Womp Rat looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the Chancellor and he had me sworn into the toughest branch of the armed services ... The Grand Army of The Republic... You know one of their nicknames is "The Devil Rats."
In no time at all they had me jetting from planet to planet, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders; because no one figured a Womp Rat would be eavesdropping.
I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running, but the jetting around really tired me out and I knew I wasn't getting any younger.
So, I decided to settle down. I retired from the G.A.R (8 Womp Rat years is 56 G.A.R years) and signed up for a job at the spaceport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in."
"I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a litter of baby Womps, and now I'm just retired."
I was amazed. I go back in and ask the Jawa what he wants for the Womp Rat.
"Ten Credits," the Jawa says.
"Ten Credits? This Rat is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"
"Because he's a liar! He never did any of that crap. He was in the Republic Navy!"