Tuesday, September 19, 2006

A Arrrrmy of (Cl)one

In honor of Intergalactic Talk Like A Pirate Day we have a few pirate jokes from everyone’s favorite space pirate: Hans Solo

hans 3



MR. SOLO *prods Hans with his blaster*

Hans: *mutters to himself* “Last time I let these imperials board my ship.” *glares at Tak. “and you’ll let me go after this?”

Tak: “Sure, just live up to your side of the deal.”

Hans: “Ok, OK. Hey folks here are some of my best pirate jokes for Talk Like A Pirate day.”

What’s a pirate’s favorite animal?
An Arrrrrvark!

What’s a pirate’s favorite sweaters?

What’s a pirate’s favorite country?

Why did the pirate ship look so good?
They used varrrrrrrnish!

What did the pirate want to be when he grew up?
An AARRRRrrrrrcheologist!

Where can a pirate with two wooden legs go?
Not very fARRRRR!

What kind of phone calls do pirates make late at night?
Arrr, they be makin' BOOTY calls!

Tak: I don’t get that one!

Hans: Didn’t think you would. Can I go now?

hans 2

Tak: Yes, and see you next year for Talk Like A Pirate Day!!


utenzi said...

A pirate walks into a bar with this enormous steering wheel stuck down his pants. The bartender can't help but ask, "What's with the steering wheel?"

"ARRRRGGH," the pirate answers, "it's drivin' me nuts."

Michele sent me to add a joke to your post, AoC. Well, maybe one more:

What Star Wars character is really a pirate?


A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Utenzi Rocks!!

Wedge Antillies said...

Hey, AOC, if you wnt to keep Solo tied up for a little longer, that is fine with me. Maybe I will come over and see if I can get him to pay me the credits he owes me.

But it is 'Tlak like a pirate day', so here goes...

Ah, shiver me timbers, ah, mateys. Climb the yardarms and let out the sails. Avast, me heartys, it be a good day to find some treasure.

Elizabeth said...

Here via Michele.

I just sent all of those jokes to my husband. He and I have 'celebrated' Talk Like a Pirate Day for many years... thanks for making me laugh today!

Jaina Solo said...

What the?... How did you manage to get hold of my Dad Tak?

And you got duped! You didn't really think that those were Dad's best jokes did you? Na, he keeps those for the high payers!

Catherine said...

Fun jokes. My daughter and her student friends celebrate talk like a pirate day every year. Michele sent me.

Dark Jedi Kriss said...

I'm not even going to try. Ok I will:
What's a pirate's favorite teen drama?
BevARRRRRRRRly Hills, 90210

What's a pirate's favourite appliance?
The toastARRRRrrrrggghh!

I'll stop now. LOL!

Erifia Apoc said...

*Sigh* Tak... I love you.

Local Henchmen 432 said...

Blamey, AARR be wreckin' da'...I got nothing.

What's that Maggie? You want me to go below deck?

See ya.

Shaak Ti said...

Arrrr matey.

I saw this recently, and it reminded me of ye...

Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

Utenzi just said my absolute favortist pirate joke in the whole world, arrr, it's drivin' me nuts

Actually, my intern saw the WifeSwap episode with the pirate lady last night. I'm not sure which lady was nuttier, the pirate lady or the one who walked around with a label maker on her belt.


Oh, wait, I do know, the label lady was crazier.

Professor Xavier said...

Sorry Tak, Utenzi's joke was my favorite too.

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

I know the "Driving me nuts" is the best. But I used that joke in my second or thrid post back in Jan, so I could not use it again :)

I liked the Booty call joke. It caused my co-worker to spit coffer out her nose when I told it to her.

Darth Nepharia said...

I work with geeks. They actually planned ahead for today's 'talk like a pirate day.'

They brought bandanas and cutlasses -- surprised no one showed up with a hook. They drew pictures of the jolly roger on their white boards. Didn't know what they were doing until I read Oneida's blog.

NandeHi said...

Booty call IS the best... :) good thing I was'nt drinking anything. :)

Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

My intern wimped out and didn't try try pirate speak at the clinic she works at. They already think she's weird enough.

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Ha! some moron geek I know who work for some political type kept answering the phone today with an "Arrrrr Senator XXXXXXXXX's office. ..... Aye He's not in today."

What a rube :)

Merlyn Gabriel said...

solo and jokes... BAD combination. Maybe you should do the Empire a huge favour and throw him in the deepest pit of despair.!!! I can't figure out what that princess chick sees in him.

Florence said...

You know Solo isn't a Pirate he's more of a Privateer, but that could be splitting Haaaaairs.