Monday, January 30, 2006

The Rest of the Press Conference

Reporter 3: Senator Ask Aak, recently galactic lobbyist Jerk AbramHutt admitted to, and I quote from the court document, “trading Speedos and Oreos for political favors, giving bribes to members of the Senate and dressing like a Hutt.” It is rumored that Chancellor Palpatine had his photo taken with AbramHutt and then let AbramHutt meet with many of the top government officials. Do you have any comment?

Senator Ask Aak: (adjusting his Speedo and wiping Oreo crumbs from his robe): Again with the hating the Republic. What has this Universe come to when reporters make up these baseless accusations? First of all, the Chancellor has his photo taken with lots of people. It part of his job. Just like me (wave at TK 266… TK 266 brings/drags the reporter to the front of the room and takes a picture of Senator Ask Aak and her.) Look we have a picture together and doesn’t mean any thing. As for who AbramHutt meet with: How would we know? We don’t follow his calendar. Next Question. Or do you have a follow up (begins to wave at TK 266 again)

Reporter 3: No questions here, I think I’ll head out now to get another job.

Reporter 4: Senator Ask Aak, can you shed any light on the rumor of the Chancellor using “Force” lighting on an Aldraanian Senator?

Senator Ask Aak: That old urban legend making the round again (forced laugher). The truth is it was a cold, dry day on Coruscant and the Chancellor had just walked across a shag carpet while rubbing a balloon on his hair. All a tragic case of static shock overload.

(reporters glance around at each other incredulously)

Senator Ask Aak: Well thank you for all coming here today. If you have any other question or need a press packet, please direct yourself to the prison... I mean information ship the landing deck. For any one who has questions on the “Those Who Hate the Republic Rendition Policy” please board the ship on the left side for a trip to the Gamorrean home world to see how this policy is being enacted. Any takers…anyone. Oh well, I hope this has cleared up any question you may have had. Good Day.


The press conference ended pretty quickly. I was surprised how many reporters ended up on the ship to the Gamorrean home world. Never did see their article on the Holonet. Strange all that interest, but no story. Oh well, on to the next assignment.


Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

uhh, dressing like a Hutt..... hunh, well, to each their own, I suppose.

Count Dooku said...

I had to trade speedos with Senator Palpatine once...dreadful experience.
I never did get them back, either.
Come to think of it, I'm not sure why we had to trade them in the first place.

Wedge Antillies said...

Politicians are like vegitables: keep in a cool, dark place and they won't bother you. Pull them out into the light and try to use them, and you find all the filth and mold. In other words, always keep them fresh and new, and ALWAYS carry a knife!

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

"A democracy without a free voice is no democracy at all."

Jimmy the Balloon Faced Boy.

Jabafatboy said...

Kind sounds like any other address the nation speech.

Reckon they should put like mickey mouse face up there and have the voice come out of mouth, at least be fun ta watch.

Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

Ohh, I think they should have to convey their message through interpretive dance. Now that would be funny