Tuesday, November 14, 2006

NEWS FLASH! NEW FLASH!

A news Update from CGN (the Clone Gossip Network)


Alderaan - Pandme Spears is saying bye-bye to A-Fed.

The pop princess, Pandme Spears, filed for divorce Tuesday from her husband, former backup dancer and aspiring rapper from Tatooine, Anakin Federline.

The Alderaan Superior Court filing cited "irreconcilable differences and the boy can’t sing."

Spears, 28, married Federline, 20, two years ago in a quite (secrete) ceremony on the Moon of Deagobah. Spears is suspected of being pregnant with twins or she has just gone off her diet.

Spears' attorney, Nobail Organa, stated “Ms. Spears was tired of living with a no talent, whiny, momma’s boy.”

Her marriage provided endless fodder for tabloids, which speculated frequently that the union was in trouble.

afed and spears

Federline's attorney, JJ the Jawa, issued the following statement. “While Mr. A-Fed has been out making the Republic safe for white rapper everywhere, his wife has done nothing but mock his career. I have known this boy from his day back in the trailer parks of Tatooine. He is good people. All he wants from this separation, and it is Ms. Spears who is being the Separatist here, is fair compensation for his sacrifices in the marriage. Oh and he wants her to pay for a vacation to Mustafar”

When asked if he was even a real lawyer, JJ yell “look Pamala Glanderson” and ran away.

In an interview with The Associated Press two weeks ago, Federline had nothing but praise for Spears.

"Her influence on me has been really big," he said. "She's a strong woman and she knows what she wants out of life and that helps build a strong man. I look up to you, baby."

In the divorce papers, which do not mention a prenuptial agreement, Spears asks for custody of the couple's droids, with visitation rights for A-Fed.

21 comments:

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Oh yeah and sorry for the long absence. My bad :)

SHI said...

WB lets party

Summer Dawn O'Ciardha said...

I've got un-related questions.

This first is; How were you cloned? This information could get me a doctorate or more in biology.

The second is; What is it like being a clone? This could get me a doctorate in psychology.

The third must be; How much wood, could a wood chuck, chuck if a wood chuck, could chuck wood? This is something that has already annoyed me.

And by the way, Your blog is funny.

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Dawn:

1: The short answer is that The Kaminoans took a genetic sample of Jango Fett and worked their magic. The slightly longer answer is one method scientists can use is somatic cell nuclear transfer, which is the same procedure that was used to create early clones. Somatic cell nuclear transfer begins when Scientist take the egg from a donor and remove the nucleus of the egg, creating an enucleated egg. A cell, which contains DNA, is then taken from the person who is being cloned. The enucleated egg is then fused together with the cloning subject's cell using electricity. This creates an embryo, which is implanted into a surrogate mother through in vitro fertilization. If the procedure is successful, then the surrogate mother will give birth to a baby that is a clone of the cloning subject at the end of a normal gestation period.

2: you know the normal. Wake up, Eat breakfast, reflect on why I am in the universe and whether I am good or evil, then kill a lot of things.

3: being that most woodchuck are lazy the average that a wood chuck will chuck at any give time is about 3 pounds of wood. Then they get tired and need to take a nap, at which time they get eaten by a passing by bear.

Hope that helps

Local Henchmen 432 said...

Sweet Tak is Back.

Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

It is a good day that Pandme is leaving A-Fed, he was going to be the death of her career. But I hear that he's threatening to release a sex holovid they made on their honeymoon.

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

psst Lt. Cmdr don't ruin my next post LOL

Jabafatboy said...

Stand Em Both Up In Front Of A Firin Squad And BLAST AWAY !!

Make The Universe A Better Place Fer Us All.

And Put That Parasite Freanghilton in The Line Up As Well.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Just as long as she doesn't leave the baby seats with the twins on the roof of her speeder as she takes off, she'll be OK.

(And welcome back, Tak. Is Senator Ask Ack re-elected?)

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Jon: Senator Ask Ack was not up for relection, but I was helping others of his ilk. needed to shower for a week to get the elected official smell off me :)

Darth Nepharia said...

Ah, Tak, it's good to have you back. What TOOK you so long?

Summer Dawn O'Ciardha said...

The doctorates will be mine!

Professor Xavier said...

Oh sure, just waltz back in like you didn't disappear for two months without a word.

Dark Jedi Kriss said...

You're back! AGHHHH! Missed you! *calms down* I'm ok now. I thought maybe Vader had locked you up in the Death Star or something. Welcome back.

Skywalker said...

S'up, Earl! Welcome back, bro.
Well, may be she was hard to live with, you know, allways complaining and all.
*Shuts up*
I wasn't here.

Master Obi-Wan said...

Welcome back. I thought you had be DEcloned.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

... Or maybe gotten a high CaLONEic.

NandeHi said...

Hey ole boy - welcome back. ya already know you were missed. So do I need to say it again? What the heck, missed ya! Better stop over to the Jedi Temple and say howdy do to the dandy Nandie.. :)

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Prof X: Yeah and what of it LOL

Phobia said...

Heya Tak.. good to have ya back.. you were missed.. *spins around like a crazed person* okay better now.. It's been a long mission for me and the worst is yet to come.. Believe me

Merlyn Gabriel said...

YIPPIE you're back!!!!